Kiss Goodbye to MS with Sara-Jane Tracy

A gorgeous smile, a jut of the hips and a perfect pose in stunning but admittedly super-high heels. Anyone passing Irish Country Living’s photoshoot with Sara-Jane Tracy would think that this girl has it all.

Beautiful and bubbly, you wouldn’t believe that behind the smile is a girl who has walked a difficult path, that those impressive heels have quite a story. Just 18 months ago, they sat in the back of her wardrobe. Eighteen months ago, Sara-Jane’s balance was so bad she could barely walk to the toilet unaided.

It was July 2015 and Sara-Jane had just received the life-altering diagnosis of multiple sclerosis (MS).

Career Success

A professional show jumper, Sara-Jane was just reaching her peak in the equine world when she started to get really sick.

“My love of horses, it’s in my blood and I’ve been riding since I was small. I was on a European riding team when I was 14. My parents weren’t too keen on me making a career of it so I studied law and qualified as a barrister but I always kept working with the horses and when I was 25 I decided to take the plunge and work on it full-time.”

Sara-Jane’s brother, Irish rugby player James Tracy, had just started playing professionally and she knew this was her time too. So, after working in Germany and Belgium, she moved to the Netherlands.

“Things really came together for me there. I had a great group of horses with real potential, some really big upcoming events. All the work I had put into them was just coming to fruition but I started to feel really sick.”

Back Pain

Having been diagnosed with scoliosis as a teenager, Sara-Jane had always had back pain but things were moving to a new level.

“I was violently ill, vomiting for two weeks and ending up in hospital. My vision also started to be affected. When I was riding in a show, I had to walk the arena beforehand because I couldn’t see where the fences were. The MS had travelled to my brain, although, of course, at that time I hadn’t a clue.

“Then I started to lose power in my body. It took two people to get me on a horse because I had no bounce off the ground and when I was up there I was in so much pain it felt like someone was ripping off my kneecaps. My balance got really bad and I had no feeling from my waist down.

“I was also afraid to go anywhere where there wasn’t a bathroom nearby because I never knew when I wanted to go to the toilet. I was losing control of everything.

“Even though I was worried, I was more frustrated by everything. Nobody could tell me what was wrong, I still thought it was all due to a back injury.”

Medical Talk

Sara-Jane was diagnosed with optic-neurosis.

“They also did an MRI and found lesions on my spine. While MS was starting to get mentioned and I knew a few of the tests were geared to it, it didn’t even occur to me that it was a real possibility.”

A trip to a back specialist in Germany brought things to the next level.

“They told me to fly home immediately and get every test I could get – scans, X-rays, blood tests, everything – to better assess the situation. My dad and my sister Leanne came to meet me at the airport and when I came out of arrivals I was clinging to my suitcase for dear life so I wouldn’t fall over. I was a shell of myself, unrecognisable – my sister wept just from the shock of what I looked like.”

After a scan of the spine, Sara-Jane and her mother took the results to her chiropractor.

“I’ll never forget it. When the results came up on the screen, there was so much white and I thought, that cannot be normal. He put his two hands on the desk, moved back from us and said: ‘You need to go to the hospital right away.’ He said he wasn’t qualified to read the scan but I think he knew just from looking at it.”

Getting a Diagnosis

After a day of tests in St Vincent’s, Sara-Jane was sent home but that night her mother was insistent they return. When a professor met Sara-Jane back in the hospital, he asked three questions. Did she feel like there was water running down the back of her legs? Did she have a buzzing sensation? Did she feel like a really tight belt was wrapped around her ribs, making it hard to breathe?

“I answered yes to all three questions and was told they were very sorry but I would be staying in hospital.

“I freaked out that night, balling crying because I was moved into a neurology ward. Two people around me were talking about MS and I kept saying: ‘I don’t have MS. Why is everyone talking about MS?’

“That was a very, very long night. I was so frightened and deep down I knew there was much more to it than a back problem.”

It was weeks later before the official diagnosis came.

“Despite everything, all my symptoms, I was genuinely so shocked when the doctor said: ‘I’m really sorry Sara-Jane but you have MS.’ I was devastated. MS had taken everything from me, everything. I’ve had to start from scratch again. I had rehab to get walking again. I couldn’t even write my name. My younger sister, who is a primary school teacher, used to spend hours in the hospital teaching me how to write. I found out after that she used to go home and cry because my formation was so bad, worse than a three-year-old. All I wanted to do was get back on a horse.”

Getting Treatment

In November 2015, Sara-Jane started her first treatment.

“Lemtrada is the most aggressive drug on the market, stronger than chemotherapy. I was hooked up to an IV for 18 hours a day.”

One of the few things that got her through though was the support of her family.

“That Monday morning when I was told I was starting treatment, James got a call saying he was starting with Leinster for the game on Friday against Scarlets. ‘This is our week, you and me are going to do this together,’” he told me that morning.

Obviously, I was devastated to miss it, he was only playing in the RDS, a stone’s throw from the hospital. But friends came to visit and the nurse even allowed me across the road in a wheelchair and pyjamas to watch it in a pub. I was mortified but when he won man of the match I was so proud. He came in after the match and gave me the medal and I still have it beside the bed.”

Turning a Corner

Despite a tough recovery, Sara-Jane turned a corner in 2016.

“All my family are massively into horses and Declan Egan, Edward Doyle and Ed Doyle Jr, what they did for me ... I will be eternally grateful. The patience Edward had every day. I mean, it’s their business, their livelihood, but they spent so much time helping me. I did my first show last April and he was right by my side. When I cleared that course, I couldn’t believe it. It was a small course and a serious fall from grace but it was a start.”

Since then, Sara-Jane has had another bout of treatment and an illness before Christmas where she got pleurisy, pneumonia and septic shock so bad that she was at serious risk of death. She says each day she is exhausted and her body often feels like a dead weight, but her love of horses and her determination keeps her going.

So what does the future hold?

“If I am really honest, I am just taking every day as it comes. I have no idea what I will be able to do in the future as I don’t know how the treatment is going to affect me. I am determined to help raise awareness of MS though because although it’s such a frightening disease, it’s not the end of the world.

“I’d also like people to have a better understanding of what MS is and what people go through on a day-to-day basis. When you are in the depths of a relapse, everybody can see you’re sick. Now I am feeling better but I am still in a lot of pain.

“I have a mountain to climb and I work on staying strong and positive, and building awareness.”

How you can help

Kiss Goodbye to MS is helping to raise funds for MS research and essential

services for more than 9,000 people with MS in Ireland. Supporters are asked to wear red, hold a red day, or dare to get sponsored for an MS Ireland sky-dive. Share with friends and family to spread the word. Text SMOOCH to 50300 to donate €4 and nominate others to take part. For more information, visit www.kissgoodbyetoms.ie