Cover Feature - Neil Delamere hits the road

When it comes to surnames, you wouldn’t think there is much scope to mess around with Delamere but it was a challenge accepted by Offaly comedian Neil. From DVDs and shows called Crème de le Mere, The Fresh Prince of Delamere and his recent tour, CTRL+ALT+DELAMERE, Neil says he has messed around with his name in all senses of the word.

“The thing is, I would pronounce my surname Delameer, but Delamere works so much better,” he laughs.

“I’m cheating a bit, but all in the name of comedy. I don’t think my dad is too impressed, though.”

Although the extrovert from Edenderry is quite tight-lipped on his private life, he does admit that, as the youngest in the family, he is spoiled. “Sure, how could you not spoil me?”

And in another life, he would have grown up on a farm.

“Before I was born, my father was farming on the family farm, which was near Ashford Bridge. They had cattle, sheep, a bit of oats and tillage. We took a drive out there recently, and he showed me where the house was, the yard and they had a mass bush from penal times.

“It was nostalgic for him, a bit emotional for me. I was a bit jealous of my older brothers and sisters, who lived there for a few years before the farm was sold and I was born. Dad then went off to work in Bord na Mona.”

CTRL+ALT+DELAMERE

Neil certainly understands the culchie humour and is set to take on the country yet again with his newest show CTRL+ALT+DELAMERE. A regular on the comedy circuit, he is bringing something a little different this year.

“I’ve been doing this TV show for RTÉ called Eureka, the Big Bang Query, where we do stunts to demonstrate a scientific principle, and I have little three-minute inserts at the end of my live shows to talk about some of the things I did.

“There was some mad stuff. I was bobsleighing in Bavaria, and you’d want to see me in skintight gear – it was like putting Spanx on a snowman. In France, I was on a zero-gravity flight where I was weightless – amazing, the best thing I ever did.

“We were on a centrifuge in Poland, which is used to train people for space, but definitely the most extreme thing we did was in Westin airport in Kildare. We were discussing this scientific equation that governs how you are orientated in space and my producer – who, I might add, is a sadist to put my through this – decided to put me in a tiny plane doing loop-the-loops, spins and barrel rolls. I wasn’t the best after that.

“So this element of the show definitely adds something different. You’re there on stage talking to the audience, joking about stuff that we all have in common – hopefully – and then you say: ‘You know that time when you go on a centrifuge?’ I’m looking forward to some of the audience reaction to that.”

Playing to the crowd

Neil says it’s the audience that really makes standup his first love.

“Getting them involved in the show is great fun. It’s immediate, interactive and it means that every show is different.

“Someone might have gone to a show in Langtons in Kilkenny last year, for example, but it will be completely different this time round.

“And, you know, the audience keeps it interesting for me too. If I’ve been on stage for 30 nights, it helps me to keep the content new and fresh. I feel really energised by it.”

So what’s been the most memorable on-stage experience?

“Well, there was the time that a guide dog did his business in the front row at a gig in Edinburgh. This venue didn’t have a raised stage. I looked across and out of the corner of my eye, I see a shimmering pool of gold.

“So I say to the blind man and the woman next to him: ‘I think your guide dog is after having an accident.’ She was so embarrassed and ran out of the venue with the dog, leaving the blind guy sitting there on his own.

“‘You know she is after running out on you?’ I said to him, because he didn’t know – he was just sitting there laughing. ‘So what’s the relationship between the two of ye?’ I asked. When he replied they were engaged, I asked when were they getting married. To which he paused and replied: ‘Never.’

“So I said: ‘You’re leading her on the way the dog is leading you on.’ And he laughed and said: ‘Yeah, that’s pretty much it.’

“The crowd were in stitches. Now they come to every Edinburgh show, but they are still not married. It’s definitely a bone of contention ... but the guide dog has gotten much better.

Make Hay while the Sun Shines

“The thing is, if the audience is with you and having the craic and all the rest, you can kind of conjure up these incidents. And when I meet people on the street, they won’t say: ‘I was at the show where you told the joke about the Farmers Journal,’ for example. They’ll go: ‘I was at the show when the guide dog did his business.’”

Standup is just one element of Delamere’s very packed schedule. As well as his new RTÉ show, he’s also on the mic on Today FM and is on BBC’s The Blame Game.

“Yeah, I have that voice in my head – which is usually in the tone of my father – saying: ‘Make hay while the sun shines.’

“A friend of mine is a barrister, and he has it as well; it’s the guilt of the self-employed. But you can’t do everything, so you have to do the things you really love doing first and, for me, that’s standup.”

Future Plans

So what does the future hold for Delamere? Any plans to follow his pals Dara Ó Briain or Jason Byrne across the water?

“I’m too busy here at home; I don’t have the time. You know, I did the Edinburgh Fringe Festival for a few years, and it was brilliant, it compresses the best of everything going on in the UK comedy scene into one month in one city. You see what everyone else is doing, hang out with your mates. You’re doing a live show for 25 nights and you’re razor sharp but, to be honest, I’ve been too busy in the last few years.

“Plus, I love the Irish audience. If you were putting a gun to my head and I could only gig to one group of people, it would definitely be the Irish. You’re coming from a commonality, a common ground and it’s always great craic.”

>> 60 seconds with Neil Delamere

Edinburgh Fringe Festival or Kilkenny Cat Laughs?

Kilkenny. It’s like a festival designed by comedians for comedians. I’ve always loved it.

Offaly or Dublin?

Offaly will always be in my heart. Wait, are you talking about GAA? Because I’ll always shout for Offaly.

Tayto or King?

Tayto, hands down.

Supermacs or a carvery?

Carvery, all the way, 100%. Best freebie I ever got was a free carvery. We were in Ennis on tour with The Panel, and this fella said to me: “You’re that guy from the TV show. You can have as much turkey and ham as you want.” I was like: “This is the best freebie ever.” I am the ultimate culchie.

Jason Byrne or Dara Ó Briain?

Oh, that’s rough – making me choose. OK, Dara, I was at his wedding and feel loyal to him.

Mammy’s dinner or wife’s dinner?

These questions are going to get me in trouble. I’ll have one course of each, thank you very much.

Drunk audience or sober?

Sober, because if you’re any good, you can generate a slightly inebriated feel just from the content, a great energy and atmosphere. If they are too drunk, it can be hard.

Gig guide

Neil will be playing in Langtons, Kilkenny, on 21 January and the Tullamore Court Hotel on 22 January. For a full list of his upcoming gigs click here