The language of love

Valentine’s Day is next week and whether you love or loathe it, the simple fact is you won’t be able to get away from it. But, beneath all the materialism and cheesy slogans, has how we meet potential love interests in rural Ireland changed?

We all know of the advent of online dating, but what other ways are people finding ‘the one’? Irish Country Living takes a look at some avenues, both traditional and modern.

Matchmaking

The late, great John B Keane once famously said on The Late Late Show that matchmakers were still necessary in Ireland. The conversation between himself and Gay Byrne centred on Kerry-based matchmaker Dan Paddy Andy, who charged £1 per milch cow for a match.

But, that was the dialogue of the mid-80s and by now we must be a more confident, assertive people, or at least have replaced matchmakers completely with Tinder and other popular dating apps? Evidently not, says resident matchmaker at the Lisdoonvarna Matchmaking Festival, Willie Daly.

“It does surprise me that matching is still very important and very much needed in rural life. Sometimes I feel this is due to the lifestyle of farmers,” he outlines.

“For most people spring brings on the thoughts of romance, they become impulsive in terms of their emotions and get more romantic.

“But, between cows calving, sheep lambing and all of the detail that goes with that type of life, farmers haven’t much time to participate. Even though farming has become very modernised, it is still demanding.”

Although Willie feels the workload of farmers is still an issue in relation to their social lives, it is not all doom and gloom when it comes to farmers looking for love, particularly for the boys. Willie says that from his personal experience, male farmers are becoming more and more sought after due to their healthy, fit lifestyle.

“The Irish male is like an endangered species,” exclaims the matchmaker. “Irish country men are very good looking as a rule, they tend to be very healthy, strong and everyone dresses well now.

“They are in demand from women all over the world. I get emails from all parts of the world, America, most recently Columbia, from women wanting to meet Irish men. Sometimes I say: ‘Is there going to be enough of Irish men to go around?’”

A Table for Six

As well as traditional matchmaking, other dating initiatives are also coming on stream, with one of the most popular in the last 12 months being A Table for Six. Founded by Mairead Loughman, A Table for Six brings three single men and three single women together for dinner.

The idea is that if anyone at the table catches your eye, you arrange a further meeting with them, or if confidence fails, Mairead can follow up for you. Upon starting A Table for Six, the Mullingar native had so much interest from farmers and people wanting to meet farmers, that she set up A Table for Six especially for just that, called Farmer Wants a Wife.

When Mairead started going out with her boyfriend, a farmer from Tipperary, they would always joke about the Lee Matthews song The Farmer Wants a Wife, which provided the inspiration for the name of the dating service. Despite the title, she says Farmer Wants a Wife is aimed at female farmers too, who regularly contact her from around the country.

“Farming is not just a career, it is a lifestyle. I know myself with my own boyfriend, when we are thinking of taking a few nights away, the first thing is who is going to feed the cattle. When it comes to calving, you need to consider it all beforehand, not everyone is understanding of that.”

A Table for Six is run at locations across the country and alongside it Mairead also runs private matchmaking: “I get a lot of people who have never been on a date and you would be surprised, the finest of men and the finest of ladies. I give them a few hints on maybe what they should wear on a date, how they should act, I send them all that information.

“There is a full follow up as well, it is not just sending them off. As far as I am concerned the only reason I do this is to get as many people matched up as possible.”

A match made in Macra

Shortly after his election as president of Macra na Feirme last year, James Healy said live on radio that Macra was “the unofficial dating agency of rural Ireland”. The comments ruffled the feathers of some members who did not like the organisation being portrayed in that way.

But, speaking to Irish Country Living, James says that although it may not be the primary concern of the organisation, Macra does indeed create the correct conditions for meeting people romantically.

“You are meeting a lot of people your own age and people of a similar mindset. Look, we are all of that age where we are meeting people we are attracted to and going out with people,” says James.

“You are being put in a relaxed atmosphere, where you are meeting a lot of different people and it is bound to happen that you are going to meet people that you want to go out with. Because Macra brings lots of young people together, it kind of happens naturally, rather than us going out to create any sort of atmosphere.”

Last month James got married to Marie, who he met through Macra. He explains that Macra marriages and Macra babies are not uncommon, and also that he stands over his comments about Macra being better than Tinder.

“I think I said at the time it is better than Tinder and I think it is. You are not joining with the purpose of meeting somebody, but it creates that relaxed, welcoming atmosphere.”

Although Dan Paddy Andy may not be around anymore to mediate the language of love, there are plenty more willing to fill the void, and, of course, one could always give the language of love a go themselves and see what happens. CL

The Lucky Love Book

Willie Daly’s Lucky Love Book is over 150 years old. The matchmaker claims that it enhances people’s chances of finding love. If they touch the book with both hands and close their eyes for seven seconds, they should be in love and married within six to eight months. If someone just wants to find love and not get married, they touch the book with one hand and close their eyes for seven seconds.

“Equally, you have people who are married for X amount of time and often romance gets quiet after a period,” explains Willie. “If they touch the book it recreates some aspects of their honeymoon again a week or two after. It is a win-all for everybody.”