'It’s the women’s stories I go for and that sense of camaraderie'

Back in 2009 on a wet day, Marian Dalton, on the farm that she works with her husband Eamon, thought to herself: “What am I doing with my life? Something inside me made me pick up a pen and write to Mairead Lavery in Irish Country Living and that changed everything for me.”

Sheep and suckler farming with her husband Eamon for the last 36 years, Marian found herself feeling slightly lost and isolated in rural Carlow. Her emergence from this chrysalis 10 years ago however, has seen her achieve a huge amount since.

It is just the two of us and times had been hard, I lost a baby in 1990 and then my mother had a stroke in 1993 and died in 1997 and after that I was looking after my Dad

Sitting in her kitchen, eating the scones, the first thing that we start to talk about is confidence and how in some cases, men are just more confident than women to take things on and what encouraged her to take the plunge.

Sadly like so many stories, a period of loss pushed Marian to make a decision about what she wanted from her life. Marian said: “It is just the two of us and times had been hard, I lost a baby in 1990 and then my mother had a stroke in 1993 and died in 1997 and after that I was looking after my Dad.” Marian, an only child, found it hard to have to do things on her own without any siblings to support her.

Mairead responded quickly to Marian’s letter with an invite to the Women & Ag Conference, which that year was held in the Hodson Bay Hotel in Athlone. Although Marian felt it was an honour to be invited, doubt reared its head once again the night before. But fighting back the negative voices, she got the train in Portlaoise the next day and hasn’t looked back since. “Walking into an environment of welcome, of understanding, meeting women who are experiencing the same challenges” is why Marian returns excited to the conference every year, she tell me.

“Some women had lost babies themselves, some were caring for elderly relatives or those with special needs and I was inspired by how they were getting on with their lives.”

Invigorated from the conference, Marian decided on the train home that she needed to keep this momentum going, that there was a need for her to do something outside the farmgate and with that, she picked up the phone to John Brennan who was at that time Carlow IFA county chair. Asking how it would be possible to take a more active role in the organisation, she was once again invited to attend a meeting. And again she found the room welcoming and so began Marian’s work within the IFA. The following year, she joined the Farm Family and Social Affairs Committee, then was elected as Carlow county secretary in 2014 and is also currently representing Carlow on the Rural Development Committee and speaking with her, I think there are other jobs for her still.

There is nothing fake about farmers, conversation flows easy as we are all in the same boat

“The first time I went to the Irish Farm Centre (head office for the IFA as well as the Irish Farmers Journal and other agricultural organisations in Dublin), I was really nervous. But the Farm Centre is actually like a big family. There is nothing fake about farmers, conversation flows easy as we are all in the same boat.”

Marian’s husband, Eamon, she says, is the quieter of the two of them, but supportive of her decision to become more active in the IFA. This support is an important part of their dynamic as she says “like with all things on a farm, if one person is gone to a meeting the other is needed to keep the show on the road”.

Going out to a meeting or a conference or the mart is a way of meeting people and without this outlet, people can lose that contact just coming in and out of the house for meals, the same thing every day

Marian is concerned about rural isolation and mentions the importance of farmers looking after themselves. “This industry is pretty small but people can become very isolated on farms. Going out to a meeting or a conference or the mart is a way of meeting people and without this outlet, people can lose that contact just coming in and out of the house for meals, the same thing every day.”

A few years ago, Marian inherited her grandparents’ cottage, a traditional farm cottage with an open fire and she holds a rambling evening there occasionally. People will come bringing some food and will play music. “Whoever wants to come is welcome. We have retired people as well as a couple of young fellas that play the accordion and guitar and they come along on their school holidays.”

And through this in her own way, she is addressing the rural isolation issue in her local community herself.

The other women

This brings our conversation back around to the Women & Ag Conference once again. By the time that first year had passed and October was just around the corner again, Marian was very eager to get going again. In fact, she has missed just one Women & Ag Conference since that initial phone call from Mairead Lavery in 2009.

I ask her why she keeps coming back and she says it’s a simple answer: “The other women.”

“For me the most important thing about the conference is to meet other women. Yes, the other speakers are important, but it’s the speakers that are other women, like us in the audience who are farming and they get up and tell their story, that is what makes it so special.

“Over the years, the lady that really stood out to me was Diane Banville whose husband was killed in a farm accident. These women talk about life and after that it’s the camaraderie amongst the group. There are people you wouldn’t meet from year to year and when you meet up it’s like you just met yesterday. It’s in the diary after ploughing and that’s when you really start looking forward to it.

There is a lot of pain on farms and they don’t understand this in the EU

Marian is coy about her future in IFA but there is a definite twinkle in her eye when I broach the subject. Saying nothing but saying a lot she replies: “There is a lot of pain on farms and they don’t understand this in the EU and politicians are becoming far more removed from us so the importance of a strong lobby is ever more important.”

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