Dear Miriam,

A problem has arisen in my household of late, which is by no means serious in the great scheme of things, but all the same, it has me up the walls.

Of my four children, I have three of them sorted and out in the world, more or less. The two eldest are working in good steady jobs, another is studying law in college and the youngest girl is getting ready to do her Leaving Cert.

My youngest girl has brains to burn, but she’s adamant this last while she wants to go to art college.

She seems to have this all figured out, the career guidance counsellor in school was even encouraging her!

She tells me that next year she’ll have to do a portfolio course, which she has applied for in a post-Leaving Cert college already. Then off the back of that and her Leaving Cert results, she wants to head off to art college.

She seems to have this all figured out, the career guidance counsellor in school was even encouraging her!

Miriam, in my eyes this is a disaster waiting to happen. Now there’s nothing wrong with being creative and all that, but it’s a very hard road and she’ll never make money from it.

She’s great at drawing and painting, but can’t she do that on the side?

I really just wanted her to get a good, solid job, like the rest of them. Since she sat her Junior Cert I’ve been trying to steer her towards a commerce course. She’d have plenty of job choices out of it. She cracked up laughing when I told her accountants make good money.

Now Miriam, she’s very creative. I can’t deny that. She’s great at drawing and painting, but can’t she do that on the side?

I genuinely just want the best for her Miriam, as I do for all my children. I don’t want her to be struggling with finances her whole life. I’d like her to have some security.

But it seems the more I push, the more she pulls. Is there any way I can get her to see things clearly?

Worried Mother

Dear Worried Mother,

Thank you very much for getting in touch.

What is abundantly clear from your letter is that you love your children very much and you have their best interests at heart, but I do think in this instance you are going to have to loosen the reins.

Anyway, regardless, it seems your daughter will do this with or without your approval. So you may as well be on side.

It takes all sorts of people to make a diverse world, and I do think it is great your daughter is following her passion

Try and look at the situation objectively. Firstly, you can most definitely be proud of her for researching what she needs to do to pursue a career in art and putting a plan in place. She has shown great initiative.

It takes all sorts of people to make a diverse world, and I do think it is great your daughter is following her passion.

There is no doubt you are right that art can be (depending on your outlook) a more difficult and less-secure career path to follow.

But some people would much prefer to do a job they love for less money, than earn a huge wage in a job they hate.

At the end of the day, it is important to remember that your daughter, like everyone else, has the option to change career if she wishes

Think of it this way, no amount of money can buy you back time in this life. So you have to make the very most of the time you have. Life is too short not to follow your passions. Take it from me, as someone who has done a job they detest in the past, working in a job you hate is not a place you want your kids to be.

At the end of the day, it is important to remember that your daughter, like everyone else, has the option to change career if she wishes. Nothing is set in stone.

While I totally understand your concerns, try getting on board with her on this one. She will thank you so much for it.

Wishing you all the best,

Miriam

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