Dear Miriam,

I’m not sure if there’s much you can do to help me with this, but I even just want to write this down to get it off my chest. I feel really overwhelmed at the moment and I can’t shake the feeling that I’m constantly chasing my tail.

I’m constantly doing things at all hours of the night, not getting enough sleep and waking up wrecked

Work is really busy, I can’t seem to get on top of things. Then there’s loads going on with my family too. I’m constantly doing things at all hours of the night, not getting enough sleep and waking up wrecked.

Around all this then, I’m just trying to fit in seeing my friends and going to the gym, which I don’t always accomplish. My friends I suppose think I’m being a pure flake. I feel like I’m letting people down on all sides and I don’t really know what to do.

I just feel like lying into the bed for a week

I’m trying to give everyone a piece of me, but at the end I feel like I’m pleasing no one, least of all myself.

At the minute I just feel like lying into the bed for a week, but that’s definitely not an option. There aren’t enough hours in the day.

Thanks for taking the time to read this,

Stressed Sister

Dear Stressed Sister,

Thank you very much for getting in touch. I can definitely offer you some advice on your current situation that will hopefully ease the feelings of stress and overwhelm you are feeling.

First thing’s first: stop, take a deep breath and pause.

Even through your letter I can feel your tension and upset. You are running to try and accomplish everything. Sometimes we are trying to do so much that we are actually sprinting to stay still. A simple walk might get us further.

To start, any work and family commitments you can get out of, do. Try and ease your workload overall.

If you are farming or working for yourself in another capacity, can you get in a relief worker?

Your letter hasn’t a whole lot detail, so I am not too sure of your work or home situation, but if there are people who can help you, ask them. If you have a boss, explain your situation to them. Maybe they can do something to alleviate your workload.

If you are farming or working for yourself in another capacity, can you get in a relief worker? Or if that is not financially viable, are there family remembers who can help? Let others help you. You don’t have to accomplish everything on your own.

Sometimes you have to look after yourself first before you can be of benefit to others

Again, I am surmising here, but if you are a “yes person” you may want to revaluate this. And I don’t say “yes person” in a derogatory way, it’s a positive thing. It means you are kind and want to help others. Very admirable traits, but I would warn against it to an extent.

You can’t give from an empty cup. Sometimes you have to look after yourself first before you can be of benefit to others. So maybe try putting yourself first for a while.

With regard to your friends, you feel like you are not living up to their expectations. Would it help to unburden yourself and tell them how overwhelmed you feel? I am sure they would understand and maybe they could help you too.

I think time with your friends is just what you need now. Maybe swap out the gym at times and arrange to meet your friends for a walk instead. If you start to schedule in me time – whether that be a night out, a day at the spa or hiking up a mountain – you will feel better for it.

If you are still feeling overwhelmed and stressed, I would suggest talking to a cognitive behavioural therapist

That downtime will make you more productive in everything else you do.

If you burnout, you will be no good to anyone. So take it easy.

If you are still feeling overwhelmed and stressed, I would suggest talking to a cognitive behavioural therapist, who will be able to help you learn skills to change your thinking around stressors in your life.

Wishing you all the best,

Miriam

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