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Well, well. ‘Tis I, the desperately misunderstood farm husband, back again to fire more useless curds of wisdom at you.
“It’s the most wonderful time of the year,” I sing to myself as I dry off my cows. I get the feeling the cows are thinking the same thing. The last few times I went out to the shed to get them in, I got some dirty looks – how dare I disturb them.
I will probably start 2022 with great intentions
I wonder: like farmers, during the dry period, do cows sit and reflect on their busy year of milking? I’d say they spend most of their time thinking about eating, or boasting to the other cows about how close they got to flattening the sheepdog with a kick. I will probably start 2022 with great intentions. I’ll look back over the books to see what came in and out, attend webinars (to hear from farmers who actually know what they are doing) and spend some quality time admiring how great me cattle thrived.
Now we all know that with Christmas, these better work intentions go out the window. I myself love the aul’ holiday season and feel a break from the farm is well deserved and needed. The crackling of a warm fire pulls ya close. The scent of Christmas goodies fills the air. And that boxset of Wheeler Dealers isn’t going to watch itself.
I love Christmas but the excessive nature of the season gets to me
I shouldn’t be surprised but each year I sit down to relax only to receive a rude awakening – the stack of presents under the tree seems to be getting bigger each year. That stash of sweets in the press is at bursting point and the kids are off the Richter scale with excitement. I love Christmas but the excessive nature of the season gets to me – so much so it always leads to that old traditional outburst: “In my day, we got one present and one bar of chocolate if we were lucky.”
As me father would say: “A doll, a drum, a kick in the bum and a chase around the table.”
What in the name of God are they going to do with all those Barbies and LOL dolls anyway?
Then quick like lightening, I’m pounced on. Like I’m one of those gazelles getting ready to be feasted on by a lioness and her cubs.
“Sure just because you had a sad Christmas as a child doesn’t mean our kids should suffer.” There’s nowhere to turn at this stage, so I slowly back away and return to the yard where I’m better understood.
But seriously – the amount of toys the kids acquire each year is mind-boggling and the wife is entirely complicit (I think she secretly gets the Lego sets for herself). They shun the best part of Christmas – the Christmas dinner – and instead overdose on chocolate and sweets.
The next few days are a flurry of paper wrapping, plastic and boxes – all for dear aul’ dad to deal with and recycle what he can
By the time bedtime arrives they are once again like little wild animals – up since 5am and gone deranged with sugar consumption, plastic packaging and the excesses of capitalism.
The next few days are a flurry of paper wrapping, plastic and boxes – all for dear aul’ dad to deal with and recycle what he can. All the while stepping on those Legos the wife just had to buy (for the kids’ creative development). Could we not downsize the Christmas to help with our farming climate targets, I often wonder? Could we get a line or two in the CAP on that? My farm alone would be able to make a significant contribution if we were to mitigate Christmas plastic (ie Barbies).
But there are nice moments, too. The kids are still little enough to want an aul’ snuggle on the couch watching a good Christmas film (I haven’t introduced them to Die Hard yet, but we can’t peak too soon).
As they get that bit older we have a good laugh decorating the tree and putting up our Christmas lights. The farm work being a bit lighter, I can take them out to get a bit of help feeding the livestock. And the wife does her bit; making the house cosy and hosting good friends I haven’t seen in ages.
What I’m really trying to say is that Christmas is all about peace, harmony and being generous to your fellow man and woman
You see, the farming life is a great one but it can be a bit lonely, too. The wife and kids make it special even if, in my opinion, they tend to go over the top.
Anyway, I digress. What I’m really trying to say is that Christmas is all about peace, harmony and being generous to your fellow man and woman. Just, maybe this Christmas, my wife and kids could give me the gift of leaving me alone for a bit so I can finish watching that boxset in peace. Not long now ’til the calving starts.
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