We all get imposter syndrome - here’s how to deal with it

I would wager there isn’t one of us out there who has not, at one stage of our lives or another, suffered from imposter syndrome. If you truly haven’t, then fair play to you (and can you tell me your secret?).

Imposter syndrome is a collection of thoughts and feelings that – despite external successes and achievements – make you feel like a phony, a fraud, that you don’t belong and any day, now, the world will find out the truth about you.

Sound familiar?

Let me share something with you: I suffer from imposter syndrome (a lot) and it’s something that I have to work on (a lot).

When I talk about my business journey, or if you look at my LinkedIn profile, I will tell you that I am a multi-award-winning business woman, running my free-range egg business while also coaching and mentoring others to have the lives they really want (and not just to settle for what they have).

And this is true. But when my imposter syndrome is in full flight, I doubt myself, my achievements, my hard work, my experience, skills and capabilities.

What I have learned and know now, though, is that these thoughts and feelings are a misconception; completely in my own head. They are simply not true, and I have the certificates, trophies and a healthy balance sheet to prove it.

Even as I am writing this, there is a voice saying, “People will think you’re a right show-off.” If you do think this, that is not my intention – I say these things because they are fact.

So, if you suffer from imposter syndrome, don’t worry – you are not alone, and the good news is that it can be managed and dealt with. Here are some of the ways I deal with it:

1 Look at the facts and your achievements. In the world of business (and indeed life itself), look back and see what you have done.

It could be a big project or a small one, but it was the actions you took that made things happen. If you had done nothing, nothing would have happened. Your achievements and successes are because of you – don’t ever forget that.

Remember to log your wins and achievements as they happen so you can look back at them when you are doubting yourself.

2 Borrow others’ confidence in you. This made a huge difference for me. Others believed in me when I didn’t, and I took that belief and confidence and used it until I had enough of my own to do what I needed to get done.

Sometimes we need to see ourselves as others do.

3 Be aware of your thoughts and what you are saying to yourself. Imposter syndrome will tell you that you are not good enough and the world will find out what you are really like – but remember (and this is really important): in all aspects of life, you are in charge of what you tell yourself.

So, while those negative thoughts may persist, you can always counteract them with positive thoughts, mantras and the truth. Learn to acknowledge the negative thoughts and put them to one side while you get on with the job in hand; acknowledging your skills and capabilities.

As Denis Waitley said: “It’s not what you are that holds you back, it’s what you think you’re not.”

And remember, no one else knows what they are doing, either.

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