I’m a nervous wreck thanks to the passion and persistence of a certain lady. I first came across her at my place of employment, the recycling depot on the Drumbarrel road. As you know, I work there two days a week under the direction of my wry supervisor Todd and his able assistant, The Whip Carey.

One meets all kinds at the depot – or “the dump”, as the environmentally uneducated refer to it. We have our regulars, our irregulars and our newbies, which is what The Whip calls new customers. He has a soft spot for newbies of the female gender.