“Struggle develops strength and storms make you stronger.”
It sounds like someone pontificating on the past year’s weather, because god knows, it has been a struggle. But no, it’s Mr Survivor Bear Grylls who knows a thing or two about dealing with whatever the elements throw at him.
Anyone who has picked stones, stacked bales or ran around a field after cattle who thought they were at the Galway Races, knows that things don’t always go to plan on the farm or at the Ploughing. Not least the weather. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best, and that might just be lashings of mud.
You could also have three or four seasons in the one day, never mind over three days. With this in mind, a brolly, sun cream, a towel and two pairs of hiking socks are a must. If you’re lucky, you might not need some or any of them.
Forget fashion
If you’re normally a fashionista, ditch the en-vogue labels, high heels (or any kind of heels unless they are cowboy boots) and embrace rustic chic inspired by TV ranching series Yellowstone. For the newbie that’s comfort and practicality, in other words. Source your gilets, cosy shirts and fleeces for one day only, or maybe three if you’re a hardcore Ploughing fan. Number one on the list is waterproof footwear, hiking boots, wellies or long boots. Do the rain test the day beforehand for any sneaky holes because the last thing you want is to be squelching around Ratheniska all day-long freezing with the cold with a face on you that would curdle milk on sight. Layering is key, and don’t depart without a really good waterproof jacket/coat and one hat, if not two. Let’s face it, the first one may, as they say in tennis parlance, be quickly rained off.
Camping gear
Do not leave the house without a little backpack or rucksack. Why you ask? Well, where else are you going to put all of your free pens, samples and leaflets about great inventions you’ll probably never buy, but you just might, maybe. You’ll also be thankful to have somewhere to store impulse purchases that only the specials at the Ploughing can induce.
That O’Neill’s jersey you liked the look of or the foodie bargains/crafts that you can’t leave behind because the deal is just too good. It’s also handy to pack a power bank for your phone, which inevitably will die when you’re trying to meet someone or take that ultimate Ploughing selfie with Marty Morrissey.
Put in a few snacks too for times when queues at the food stalls are long and there is danger of a hangry farmer on the loose. Laois isn’t ready for that.
Baby, it’s mucky outside
If the Ploughing is Electric Picnic for farmers, then don’t forget the wet wipes for the clean-up after the mudfight. Or when the portaloos become a bit, ahem, overused, and the aim for some has gone askew. You’ll be thanking me later. They are also useful for the sticky hands and the many food accidents when you go mad for the samples in the food tents. Which you inevitably will. Sure, anyone connected with farming loves a freebie.
Time your arrival and exit
The old adage of fail to prepare, prepare to fail could have been coined for getting in and out of the Ploughing. Look up the best routes beforehand (see page 13), or talk to the one person in the parish that knows every back road or lane that will cut your time in the car and have you there in jigtime.
There is always one expert in every area. Leave at cock crow for an early start before the really big crowds arrive, this is your time to explore the main areas before it becomes bumper to bumper later, and moving about becomes more difficult.
Be sure to text yourself the location of your car as you park to avoid Ploughing-related rows when everywhere is tired and in need of a foot massage and there is no sign of the car. I have been this soldier; I know what I’m talking about. Head out of dodge in the early afternoon or late in the evening to beat the traffic, just so you can be that smug sod listening to everyone complaining about the length of the tailback to Termonfeckin.
Stop off at one of the great eating houses on the way home with a great smile. You’re a Ploughing maestro. Take a bow and look forward to next year.