Love is in this air for sure this month, as every rose and love heart we see making our way down the supermarket aisles reminds us and seems to exclaim - this is the month for loving! For some that notion just makes eyes roll. For experience tells us that when we’re in the first throes of a loving relationship, it’s easy to find and feel the love, we don’t need any reminding or direction in that regard.
So can you remember what first attracted you to your partner? Do you ever even notice that trait anymore?
But as the years tick by and we find ourselves with 20 plus years invested into a loving relationship, the feeling of those first heady days of love are but a distant memory. Well, this month readers I’m going to suggest we take that trip down memory lane, just for the joy of it.
So can you remember what first attracted you to your partner? Do you ever even notice that trait anymore? Do you ever really see or acknowledge it? Or do you perhaps, as is often the case with human nature, just take that part of your partner’s personality for granted now, forgetting how wonderful it was when you first encountered it and them?
What would happen if you tried to remember that first unfolding feeling within you when you realised there’s something truly different that you really quite like about this person who later became your partner?
Does that make you smile? Does it feel almost like someone else’s life?
What would happen if you tried to feel that initial feeling again now? You’re not just using your brain to recall the memory, but you’re also bringing to mind the feeling of those first fledgling times together, so you’re getting out of your head and into your body, into your feelings as opposed to your thoughts about the feelings.
Does that make you smile? Does it feel almost like someone else’s life? That can be the case because there has been a lot of water under the bridge since those early days yes, but perhaps also there has been a little bit of a lackadaisical approach to the preciousness of finding someone to share a life with.
That it’s a tremendously precious and often chance encounter to find someone with whom you’re willing to share this life with, and then to make things even more special they too are equally as willing to share their life with you? How utterly inestimable!
But you know nothing is certain in the future
Because it happened some time ago and it is possibly not a perfect relationship (as if perfection in any relationship were possible), we take its occurrence for granted. It’s conceivable we possibly sometimes even feel “stuck” with this person. But you know nothing is certain in the future. The only time we have available to us is now, so what to do with this now to let the love flow?
Mindfulness exercise
My suggestion to you this month is to pause and let yourself feel your love for your partner. Now, if you’ve been together a long time you may have to sieve through all the things you don’t like about him/her first.
See if you can let those feelings of love flow from that heart of yours and try loving your partner without the veil of all the years you’ve had together
You see all the negative (often greatly exaggerated) things are much easier for your mind to pick out, as our human nature often lets the negatives stick like velcro in our minds while the positives behave much more like teflon.
See if you can let those feelings of love flow from that heart of yours and try loving your partner without the veil of all the years you’ve had together, all the ups and downs. Instead, look upon them as if you’re looking at them as you did that first time. Just try.
Physical exercise
This month we’re going to do something active together. Is it possible to revisit where you met? Was it a cinema trip or a dance? I know sometimes people think they’re past that, but you can adjust your activity as you see fit. Try to get out together even if it’s for a short time to do something active together, to move together.
That way you’re showing love and support to their interests
If you do not enjoy the same active things at this stage in your relationship, how about you show an interest in what your partner enjoys and go along to their event or activity? That way you’re showing love and support to their interests.
You may well be surprised that it won’t be too long before they’re suggesting they’d like to come along to support you in your interests also.
Failing both of the aforementioned suggestions, how about together you try something that’s new for both of you and see how that helps bring the love that you share back to the surface. There’s always a Saturday morning Park Run and you don’t have to run, you can simply walk to the tune of the Bellamy Brothers’ Let Your Love Flow.