There is a lot of emphasis these days on always being switched on, always being on top of your game, always knowing what to do. But the reality for most, if not all of us, is that there will always be times where we simply will not know which direction to take. And you know what, that’s oky.
Some decisions take time, some decisions need time. Acknowledging uncertainty is not a weakness: it’s awareness. Awareness might even help us to discover that sometimes when we feel we don’t know, the truth often is that we do actually know what to do, deep down.
The uncertainty that we’re experiencing actually relates to deciding whether or not following our own instinct/desire is worth the risk of putting ourselves out there.
So when unsure of what to do next for whatever reason – big or small – try to learn to sit with the uncertainty of not knowing. It’s okay not to know straight away. Instead of being rushed into making a split-second decision (unless it is in an emergency of course) decide to give yourself some time. The thing to remember is you do actually have time: you have this moment.
First of all, give yourself a breathing break. Now, I hear you cry: “We can’t stop for a break when there’s a potential disaster about to unfold if I don’t get my act together now.”
But we need to calm the body and mind so we can give ourselves an opportunity to think straight. I’m not suggesting we take a full day off or go away for the weekend (but that is advisable from time to time too). However, let me reassure you that any time spent focusing on your breath will ultimately give you back more time than it consumes, because you will become much more efficient and focused. Decision-making will be much clearer and quicker and you’ll no doubt begin to feel better and enjoy your work and life much more.
Something to ponder
What to do when you don’t know what to do? Give yourself some slack. Try letting yourself be, letting the situation be, let it sit with you, trust yourself and remember that some solutions take time. In the meantime, resting the attention on the breath gives your mind its best chance of figuring things out by allowing inspiration to come.
Inspiration comes in the space in-between thoughts, observing how you really feel about the situation that’s gripping you and realising that you don’t have to have an answer in a split second. In the majority of cases, the sky won’t fall down if we have to wait overnight or for a couple of days for an answer. You will figure it out with time and awareness.
Mindfulness exercise: take a breathing break
What is a breathing break? It’s a time where we pause whatever we’re doing to focus in on our breath. This can be challenging at first, so it can be handy to ask yourself a few questions, eg how is my breath? Is it fast or slow? Is it deep or shallow? Then we work on slowly increasing the length of the inhale and consequently the length of the exhale, and we let the breath work its magic on our nervous system. You can work your way up to breathing in for a count of five, breathing out for a count of seven. The mind will wander off many times here so we need to keep directing our attention back to the breath, no matter how many times our attention wanders off. That’s the key.
Physical exercise of the month: breathing
Breathing in, bring the shoulders up to the ears. Breathing out, lower the shoulders back down to their natural position. Do this for up to 10 breaths. Go slowly in time with your breath and see how you feel afterwards.