There are many types of darkness. The darkness of night, the darkness of our minds and – what I’m going to focus on today – the less-than-light areas of our emotional world; areas where for example, envy, anger and sadness live, a few of the so called “bad” or “dark” emotions.
In my opinion there are no dark emotions, just uncomfortable ones – emotions we don’t like having, we wish we didn’t have and often try to ignore altogether in the hope they’ll go away – like an unwelcome visitor. But these so-called dark emotions have a role in any well-lived life.
Any emotions left unprocessed will stagnate as they are, where they are and create a sense of heaviness in our spirit
Sometimes anger is absolutely the best emotion to respond to a situation with, while other times it’s not at all helpful to be angry. The wisdom lies in recognising in a split second what is required in the situation you’re dealing with and responding accordingly, rather than simply reacting hastily.
Sometimes we react angrily to a situation because we’re carrying over anger from another situation that we haven’t fully expressed. Any emotions left unprocessed will stagnate as they are, where they are and create a sense of heaviness in our spirit.
This is where the benefits of practising mindfulness in non-demanding or light times comes to our aide.
With time and practice, we can learn to appreciate darkness as necessary to our blooming
What happens when you pause and be fully present with yourself in the light times is that you give yourself a solid opportunity to build up the resilience to be OK with those dark times.
There will always be dark times in any given year. For as we know nothing can bloom all year round.
With time and practice, we can learn to appreciate darkness as necessary to our blooming, as it often indicates that we need to allow ourselves to rest, rejuvenate and process what has happened in the light.
Mindfulness exercise
When we experience a heaviness in our spirit or find we can’t see or feel our way forward in darkness it is helpful to still ourselves a little bit while adopting an attitude of kind curiosity towards the situation.
Enquiring without judging yourself; why do I feel this way? Is there something I can do to help myself feel comfortable again that doesn’t involve me ignoring how I currently feel? Is there some way I can turn towards this darkness, shine a little light on it to take away its mystery? Take away its power over me? These are all big questions: where to even begin?
The simple answer is begin where you are. If you’re now thinking – I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m talking about learning to be with yourself in good times and bad or as I like to think of them - in comfortable and uncomfortable times.
For being alive is never bad, there is always joy to be found in our lives and in the world around us if we really see what and whom surrounds us.
Absorbing the stillness and calm that can be felt when you pause your busy life and sit, close your eyes and just watch how your breath moves in your body. It will soothe you and will help to build resilience and will ultimately allow you to feel steady in comfortable and uncomfortable times.
Physical exercise
It does everyone good to get up and watch the sunrise. It rises pretty late in October getting closer to 8am as the month comes to a close and before the clocks change. If it’s the weekend you can perhaps even make a deal with yourself to go back to bed afterwards. You don’t have to go outside even, if you’re lucky enough to be able to see the sunrise from inside your home.
However, being in nature and witnessing the beginnings of a new day can really give us perspective on the gift of having another day at our disposal and encourage us to make the most of every single part of it.
Give yourself the gift of being fully present as you watch darkness change to light in front of your very eyes, allow yourself to be moved by its wonder.
There is growth in exploring the darkness. If we just focus on the light parts of ourselves, ie the parts of ourselves we’re familiar with, the parts of ourselves we like, the parts that don’t need work, then for sure we can live and survive like that. However, we can never experience what it feels like to be truly whole, for its only by examining without judgement those dark spots within us and realising what treasures are hidden in there to be brought into the light, that we become more fully ourselves, we become more at home within ourselves.
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