The stories of Roald Dahl and David Walliams are peppered with grotesque bullies whose vile behaviour and appearance make them stand out like sore thumbs.

However, according to Darran Heaney, Director of Engagement, DCU Anti-Bullying Centre, “bullying can take many forms. It doesn’t have to be physical to be considered bullying.

“More subtle forms, such as social exclusion, teasing and name calling can be considered bullying and are often difficult to spot but can have a lasting negative effect on the target.”

If we’re to identify bullying, everyone needs to be on the same page and understand what it means.

The Department of Education’s latest action plan on bullying, ‘Cineáltas: Action Plan on Bullying 2023-2027’, has a carefully worded definition: “Bullying is targeted behaviour, online or offline, that causes harm. The harm caused can be physical, social and/or emotional in nature. Bullying behaviour is repeated over time and involves an imbalance of power in relationships between two people or groups of people in society.”

So how prevalent is bullying for our children?

A recent Government study found that 17% of nine to 17-year-olds reported that they had experienced some form of bullying, either online or offline, in the past year. The highest number of reports came from 13 to 14-year-olds, 22% of whom report being bullied in the past year.

Bullying research

In 2023, research conducted by DCU Anti-Bullying Centre showed that 13.8% of 12 to 13-year-olds in Ireland reported being subjected to offline bullying at least once a month, with 18.4% saying they witnessed offline bullying over the last number of months.

“Research has shown that bullying can become prevalent as children transition from primary school to post-primary school, as this can be a difficult time for many children to navigate,” says Darran.

“Bullying may manifest in an online form during this transition also.” It’s natural for parents to question, ‘why my child’?

Some children are more vulnerable than others. “The reason for bullying can often be linked to their physical appearance, race and identity or some other difference that has been identified by the perpetrator about the target,” says Darran.

Be on the lookout for changes in your child’s mood or behaviours, if they appear anxious or down returning from school, or express a reluctance to attend school or go to practice at a sports club. Their concentration may be affected and also their sleeping patterns.

Keep the lines of communication open with your child so that they feel that they can come and talk to you. You don’t have to talk about bullying specifically but have those conversations on an ongoing basis. ‘How’s school going? How are you getting on in the club’?

With ‘cineáltas’ (the Irish for kindness) central to the new national action plan, Darran says, “it’s teaching kids to be kind, to be a good friend, to be inclusive. They’re all really good behaviours that parents will model themselves, that’s really important to teach.”

Parents should report bullying to their child’s school or talk to the coach or child protection officer if it’s happening outside school. Many coaches are upskilling in this area but equally parents need to notice the bullying behaviour in the first place and recognise their responsibility to deal with it, says Darran.

“It’s when it’s left to fester it can get worse over time, so an immediate and quick response is really important.”

Your child’s school may have an Anti-Bullying Coordinator or year head who is responsible for dealing with these incidents. All schools are required to have an anti-bullying policy and also a code of behaviour.

“Explain the situation calmly and clearly, giving as much information as possible including times, dates, nature of bullying,” says Darran. “It can be a highly emotional time, so it’s important to respond, not react.”

The Department of Education also provides schools with anti-bullying procedures for primary and post-primary schools, on how to address bullying behaviours.

These procedures clearly outline the responsibility of the school to prevent and address school-based bullying behaviour.

Advice

Ensure you support your child during this process, advises Darran: “Children need to feel confident that the situation will be handled sensitively and swiftly. There’s an assumption that bullying will only get worse if a child ‘rats’ or ‘tells’ a trusted adult.”

Bullying takes away the target’s power so it’s important to re-empower your child, actively listening and exploring the options of what to do next with them.

“When a child is bullied, they lose their agency completely,” says Darran. “While it’s important to involve them in the decisions, it’s also important as the adult to make the right decisions for them.”

“Reassure your child that it’s not their fault,” says Darran. “Remind them that once someone knows about it, they can support them through the experience and deal with it to get it resolved.”

If on the other hand your child witnesses bullying behaviour, encourage them to tell a teacher or staff, who can intervene and manage the situation. Encourage them to check in with the student and see if they are doing okay.

“Bullying is a complex issue and everyone has a responsibility to work together to ensure schools are safe, enjoyable spaces for children to learn,” concludes Darran.

For more, see antibullyingcentre.ie/fuse for the DCU Anti-Bullying Centre’s Anti-Bullying and Online Safety programme.