The stigma surrounding domestic abuse is slowly lifting. However, those living in rural communities are more likely to remain in violent relationships than those in urban settings, according to those working on the frontline of domestic violence services.
Figures released by Women’s Aid last month detailed over 40,000 instances of abuse reported to the charity in 2023. The charity is one of 37 organisations supporting victims nationwide, making the true figure of domestic abuse in Ireland much higher.
The establishment of Cuan, a new government agency to coordinate and implement the Third National Strategy on Domestic Gender and Sexual Based Violence earlier this year was heralded as a vital step forward in protecting victims.
It has committed to providing accommodation for victims in the nine counties that currently have no refuge, one of which is Offaly.
Last piece of jigsaw
Anne Clarke, CEO of Offaly Domestic Violence Support Services (ODVSS) is hopeful a refuge will be open to her clients in 2027.
Unwilling to wait a further two years to provide accommodation services however, ODVSS has worked in conjunction with Offaly County Council and Tusla, along with the Oakley Housing Association to open safe houses in the county last December, for low to medium risk victims.
“This has been a significant development and has offered a lifeline to women and their children while they consider their next steps,” she says.
“The three houses in Birr, Edenderry and Tullamore are part of the wider service we offer from our centre in Tullamore, while we also run outreach centres at six Primary Care Centres throughout the county.
“The refuge is the last piece of the jigsaw and we’re working with Offaly County Council and Cuan to deliver it by January 2027.
“It has been a challenge to protect high-risk clients as refuges in other counties are often full. The difficulty with accessing beds elsewhere is that the day-to-day supports that the client needs are here, so it doesn’t make sense for her to stay in a refuge in Dublin or Galway or Limerick.
“We provide clients at the most severe risk with 24-hour monitored alarms that command an immediate response from the Gardaí.”
No supports
The challenge of reaching those in rural Ireland who are in a violent or abusive relationship remains a key priority for the charity.
“We have found the needs of rural women in these situations are very different to people living in towns and cities, the most obvious being the lack of transport to access supports,” she says.
“Farms are often not in joint names, which means that someone experiencing severe abuse isn’t entitled to a barring order as the property isn’t in her name. She can obtain a protection order and a safety order but neither of these remove the perpetrator from the home.
“Women in rural situations remain in domestic violence a lot longer because they have little to no supports. They have often married into a family who will not go against their own.
“The only choice these women have is to leave their homes with often nowhere to go or remain in an abusive relationship.
“We have tried to reach out to farming organisations such as Macra but the engagement has been quite low. Education, training and awareness is what is needed to reach those who need our services the most.”
In response, National President of Macra na Ferime, Elaine Houlihan says the organisation is working on promoting domestic abuse services and supports on a local basis.
“Our clubs have organised their own campaigns on a county-by-county basis and there has been a very successful campaign launched in Limerick in recent years, in conjunction with Adapt domestic abuse services.
“Pharmacies throughout the county have signed up to the campaign, where a person who needs support for domestic abuse can ask for a purple pill box at the counter and they will be brought into the private consultation room to receive support.
"The Gardaí are also involved in the campaign and those pharmacies taking part have a purple tulip sticker in their windows, alerting people to the scheme.
“I am acutely aware of the need to reach those living in rural Ireland who are experiencing domestic abuse and it is one of my priorities.”
Whole community approach
Beyond the bricks and mortar of a safe haven for those fleeing domestic abuse, ODVSS offers a wide range of support services to victims.
“We offer one-to-one support through a wide variety of services, from court accompaniment and help with legal paperwork as well as counselling, our helpline and text support line,” explains Anne.
“A lot of women are going to the courts trying to seek protection, safety or barring orders and they are falling through the cracks as they don’t know how to do it.
“Our text support service was introduced during COVID-19 and it has proved invaluable. Women are texting us from the bathroom, the supermarket, when they’re out on their walks and to have that immediate response to their concerns is very important.”
Eight staff run the ODVSS centre, which is discretely located in Tullamore town centre. The charity is leading the way in education and training awareness and is targeting the whole community in its approach.
“We have found that referrals to our service from GPs and hospitals are quite low and it got us thinking that women who present with medical issues and emergencies are not being asked the simple question, ‘are you safe at home?’
“We ran a pilot programme with staff at the emergency department at St James Hospital, Dublin, involving everyone from the porters up to the consultants where that one simple question was asked. We put posters up and had leaflets, and staff wore pins to say they were DV trained.
"The training involved one morning session lasting three hours and the referrals to us and services like us increased by 70% in less than a year.”
The scheme was acknowledged with a HSE award for innovation and has been rolled out to all staff at Offaly County Council and nursing staff at Tullamore Hospital.
“A survey was carried out after the death of Aishling Murphy in 2022 asking women how safe they felt and there was an overwhelming response where people said they were in fear of a partner or a former partner.
"Our response was to engage the whole community in acknowledging these fears and trying to make people feel safer.”
Post-separation abuse
One area of domestic abuse that has soared in recent years is violence that is perpetrated after the victim has left the relationship, according to Anne.
“Post-separation abuse is so high and we’ve seen a massive increase in cases of coercive control where there is constant revictimisation through the courts as victims navigate their way out of a relationship,” she says.
“Poverty is also a huge element of the economic abuse we see coming through the door where some women have to wait up to 18 months to get a maintenance arrangement through the courts.
“For some victims, it’s easier to go back to an abusive relationship where they have food and a roof over their children’s heads. Those first three months after a person leaves, is when they are at their most vulnerable as the perpetrator loses control and steps up the abuse.”
Family abuse
Since the country emerged from the pandemic, ODVSS and other such services have faced a ‘tsunami of calls’. “There’s no sign of it easing up and we are finding that cases are becoming more complex,” Anne says.
“Child-parent violence is becoming more common as adult children remain living in the home a lot longer than would have been the case years ago.
"Women are locking themselves in bathrooms in fear of their own children and I would estimate that 20% of our calls relate to child-parent violence.
"This has been building over the past five years as adulthood is being delayed and it is having a significant affect on families.”
Another important aspect of the work ODVSS does is in supporting children living in domestic abuse situations. The centre has a Child and Young Person Support specialist and in the past 12 months they have established an equine therapy service.
“Parents are noticing the calming affect the equine therapy has on their children, particularly those on the ASD spectrum, and this is reflected in better behaviour at home and even in school,” she says.
“Our main services are funded by the Department of Justice, Cuan and Tusla, but we have to fund things like counselling and the therapies ourselves. One months’ counselling costs €1,000 as we could be supporting up to 20 clients at a time, so that’s €12,000 every year.
"We managed to raise €7,000 through various fundraising events and are very thankful to the Given Circle of Ireland Fund for their €5,000 donation that made up the difference. We’ve also received funding from The Late Late Toy Show appeal.”
For more information, see odvss.ie. Helplines: 057 93 51886 and 086 0419154, seven days a week, 9am and 6pm.
Domestic violence takes many forms, including physical violence and coercion, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, intimidation, economic deprivation and threats of violence.
Below are some examples from Offaly Domestic Violence Support Services of the different types of abuse and the possible affects.
Physical abuse
Punching, slapping, nipping, tripping, breaking bones, strangling, kicking and pushing.
Affects: Broken bones, black eyes, bruising, hair loss, shaking, concussion, hearing loss, death.
Verbal abuse
Name calling, put downs, humiliation, threatening, undermining, sneering, brainwashing, using abusive language, shouting and snide comments.
Affects: Loss of self-confidence, no self-worth, breakdown in healthy communication.
Emotional abuse
Degradation, criticism, controlling behaviour, threatening violence, ignoring, withholding love or support, isolation and bullying.
Affects: Depression, suicidal tendencies, abuse of drugs/alcohol, low motivation, little or no self-esteem, desperation, distress, reluctance to trust, insecurity, anxiety.
Sexual abuse
Rape, demanding sex against someone’s wishes, being forced to engage in degrading sexual acts, using sex as blackmail and sexual harassment.
Affects: Unwanted pregnancies, loss of confidence and self-esteem, fear of sex, damage to present and future relationships.
Financial abuse
This is a form of domestic violence where the abuser uses money as a means of control over their partner/relative.
It is a tactic used by the abuser in order to gain power and dominance and is designed to isolate the victim into a state of financial dependence, where they are completely reliant on the abuser for money.
Affects: Loss of dignity, restricted lifestyle, lack of basic human needs such as clothes/food.
Coercive control
This is a form of abuse that manifests as a pattern of intimidation or humiliation which involves psychological or emotional abuse.
Affects: Changing your behaviour in order to satisfy your partner, afraid to do things your own way, feeling like you are walking on eggshells.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a term that is used to describe a form of abusive behavior, and it is specifically when the abuser is manipulating certain information and in such a way that it makes the victim question his or her sanity.
Affects: Doubting memories or perception of reality.