Some of you may remember the 1968 hit Lily the Pink, sung by The Scaffold. It played on my mind as I combined the wheat variety Lilli this harvest. This song title aptly describes our Lilli wheat as it was pink with fusarium, a complete disaster with rubbish yield and quality. But Lilli was not the only letdown this year.

The variety Torp was no star either, except to say that it is more like the little girl in Longfellow’s poem – when she was good, she was very, very good (Torp last year) and when she was bad, she was horrid (Torp this year). I won’t be sowing it again.

It’s hard to beat the trusted variety JB Diego, and if I may continue with my comparisons, who better to liken it to than the presenters of Met Éireann and RTÉ? JB Diego has become the Evelyn Cusack of wheat varieties – sound and reliable, it is a good classy all-around performer that has stood the test of time.

soft spot

I have a soft spot for JB Diego and I’ll hold on to it for a while more as it has never let me down. It’s a worthy successor to the effervescent and matriarchal Einstein, which has to be the Mary Kennedy of wheat varieties.

Then we have that more recent arrival, Avatar. Avatar is the Siobhan Ryan of wheat varieties. Perhaps more exciting than JB Diego, full of promise and a star performer this year. It’s leggy but unlikely to fall over and certainly an exciting one to watch.

Then there’s Lumos. Bred from quality stock (Cordiale), it has to be the Claire Byrne of wheat varieties and a real solid performer under pressure. Lumos played a blinder this year (like Claire with the election) and is a delight to behold. It measures up brilliantly against the competition.

For some reason I’ve missed out on Lumos until now but I’m going to put that right this autumn.

Then there’s that wild card, Dickens. Dickens is the Joanna Donnelly of wheat varieties. A recent addition to the list and one I’ve considered.

It’s a bit of a novelty as it is quirky and not everybody’s cup of tea. But, with its flaxen straw, it’ll always have certain appeal to some.

pushing the boundaries

And finally Grafton. What can you say? It’s got to be the Jean Byrne of wheat varieties.

A really good, smart performer, always that little bit different and never afraid to push the boundaries.

It’s popular with committed professional growers – who know how to handle it – and it’s resistant to eyespot. I like it – it responds well to sprays.

I must also mention the variety Leeds. Leeds is the Gerry Murphy of wheat varieties, except of course Gerry comes from Carrickmacross.

Leeds is a good switched-on performer, a fairly safe pair of hands that shouldn’t let you down. But don’t be growing it up in Gerry’s part of the world, as it’s a sprouter.

There are those who’d love to get their hands on Leeds. I expect that if Mrs P had any inclination towards wheat varieties she’d go for Leeds.

Though, on reflection, maybe (Elvis) Costello might be a big hit with her – I’m certainly going to give Costello a whirl this autumn.

Actually, it’s probably the one that I’m most excited about.