I have read many of the letters sent to you over the years and enjoy reflecting on the advice you have given your loyal readers, so I would love to hear your opinion on my situation.

I am a guy in his 50s and have worked on the farm since I left agricultural college. I never thought that I would still be single at this stage in life as I have tried over the years to get out and meet people.

I have gone to single nights, speed dating, and even joined two different dating agencies, one before Covid and one since.

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All I got from it was one date. I haven’t heard from the agencies since the pandemic and despite all their promises, and trying to contact them, I have had no joy. I know Covid changed how people socialise, with many places near me never reopening.When you work by yourself there is very little opportunity to meet someone.

I have people telling me that I need to find myself a partner given I have such a well-run farm, but it’s hard to hear when I know I have tried in so many different ways and have nothing to show for it. The whole thing makes me feel like I’ve been a failure in life with no partner or kids and it’s very hard to accept.

- A lonely single farmer, Co Mayo

Dear reader,

I don’t entertain the word failure, as I strongly believe that everything that happens to us in life serves as a lesson in some shape or form.

Your letter makes it clear that you have devoted your life to your farm, but sometimes we get the balance wrong when it comes to making sure we are living our life, outside of the work we do.

When it comes to farming, it isn’t that easy to separate the two, but your letter does suggest you have made some effort at trying to meet a partner.

Judging by your willingness to go to various functions designed to help men and women meet with a view to embarking on a relationship, it’s understandable you would be frustrated at still being single.

People may mean well in offering unsolicited advice, telling you that you need to find yourself a partner, but these same people won’t be aware of how difficult that is in a modern world where despite us all being linked up in a virtual sense, an epidemic of loneliness is gripping the country, affecting people of all ages.

I firmly believe that if you continue to make more of an effort to socialise in general, and not restrict yourself to activities or events targeted at the dating world, you could well succeed in meeting the right person.

When you are doing something you enjoy, in the company of others, you will find a new group of friends through whom you may well meet the person you are looking for

By that I mean find activities that interest you. Whether that be an art class, a music session in a local pub or if you’re happy to take to the hills with a hiking group, join up and commit to attend weekly classes or excursions.

The secret to success will be leaving all your expectations of meeting someone at home.

When you are doing something you enjoy, in the company of others, you will find a new group of friends through whom you may well meet the person you are looking for. At the very least, it will give you a new social circle that will give you more balance in your life.

Do you have a problem you would like to share? If so, write in confidence to: Dear Miriam, Agony Aunt, Irish Country Living, Irish Farmers Journal, Irish Farm Centre, Bluebell, Dublin 12, or email miriam@farmersjournal.ie