I am a widow for the past 10 years and I have had a little dog since my late husband passed away, who has become my best friend.

My daughter and her family have announced they are moving home from America later this year, and they have asked if they can stay with me while they figure out where to live.

I was delighted when she told me they were coming home, and happy to welcome them back into our family home.

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The problem is that now, I’m being told the dog will have to move out, because my granddaughter is allergic to pet hair.

Arthur, my little Jack Russell is nearly 10 and I’ve had him since he was a puppy. He is my confidante and best friend in the whole world so I have no intention of banishing him.

I love my granddaughter too, obviously, but when I suggested to her mother that we could figure out a solution where they both are able to live here, she ruled it out.

I don’t want to tell my own family they’re not welcome, but equally, I do not want to get rid of my dog.

– Maureen, Co Donegal

Dear reader,

I am surprised to hear your daughter is insisting on removing your precious pet from your home to accommodate her and her family. Arthur has been a trusted companion to you for a long time now.

I think you need to have another conversation with your daughter to explain that while she and her family are welcome, another solution to the situation regarding your granddaughter’s allergies will have to be found. Your letter doesn’t say what age this child is, but with the right research and approach, you should be able to find a solution so both she and Arthur can live under the one roof, especially given that it is supposed to be a short-term situation.

This may involve restricting some of their movements, to limit the amount of time they are in the same room, and to ensure your granddaughter washes her hands if she touches him. You could also look into herbal remedies for your granddaughter that might alleviate any symptoms from her allergies.

With the right research and approach, you should be able to find a solution so both she and Arthur can live under the one roof

I ultimately think your daughter’s heavy-handed approach to this will not serve her well. She’s clearly lived away for some time and may not fully appreciate the close bond you have with Arthur. However, that doesn’t mean she gets to dictate the situation now that she is coming back.

Be polite but firm, but remember this is your house and the dog is part of your home.

Reader writes

Regarding the ‘worried husband from Co Kerry’ from the 24 January edition, I would suggest he takes his own advice and gets help on the farm.

If he is gone all day, we can assume that he leaves the child-rearing to his wife, along with running the home, as well as working outside the home? Any wonder she doesn’t want a weekend away, who does he think will organise the hotel, childcare and everything else involved?

This man needs to step up to the plate and do his fair share as a husband and a father. Working all hours and assuming that his job is done simply by providing for his family is a rock many marriages have perished on.

– Yours sincerely, Deirdre

Do you have a problem you would like to share? If so, write in confidence to: Dear Miriam, Agony Aunt, Irish Country Living, Irish Farmers Journal, Irish Farm Centre, Bluebell, Dublin 12, or email miriam@farmersjournal.ie