The phrase, “What goes around, comes around,” was immortalised forever by singer Justin Timberlake, but the meaning of these words goes far beyond the lyrics of a pop song.
Adas Rakauskas lives outside Drogheda- “the Meath side” as he says himself- with his wife Tracey and three young children, Elias, Izabella and Makayla. Working as a software engineer, he provides a comfortable life for his family.
But things weren’t always so for Adas.
He was born in Lithuania in 1988. Two years later the country became independent of Soviet rule. With fledgling independence, the 1990s were tough for many Lithuanians.
There were days we only ate carrots, because that was all we had
“There was a lot of economic instability because people were losing jobs and there was more crime in the 1990s. I guess it was a bit unstable at the time. Actually they were called ‘the wild 90s’ by some people in Lithuania,” Adas explains. “I have a brother and two sisters, so I’m one of four children. I’m the eldest. Our family was having a hard time, the same as a lot of families then.
“There were days when we had very little to eat because we just couldn’t afford it. There were days we only ate carrots, because that was all we had. It was pretty bad. It was bad enough that we were at risk of having different health issues due to malnutrition.
“Still, compared to what other people were going through, we were blessed, because we had each other, we had loving parents, we had friends. A lot of people didn’t have that.”
At the age of seven, Adas was at a Christmas concert with his family and friends. Here he received a Christmas shoebox present from the Shoebox Appeal. As a child who really liked school and learning, he was delighted with the pens, pencils and notebook inside.
“I remember receiving that box. I was not shocked, but it made an impression on me. I was thinking, wow someone really cares about me, to give me a present. It surprised me that people who don’t know me were generous to me. It taught me there are people out there who care about others. It’s an important lesson for every child to learn, that people do care,” Adas reflects.
“Those shoeboxes brought joy to kids, but not only kids – every parent wants to see their child happy, right? It was a relief for parents, because being under financial pressure and trying to source presents can be tough.”
Rough crossing
In 2002, when Adas was 14, his parents decided they would move the family to Ireland in search of a better life.
The trip over was memorable, but not in a good way. As they couldn’t afford flights, they took a bus to France. The plan was to take a ferry to the UK, cross the landmass and take a further boat to Ireland.
However, as they had papers for Ireland and not the UK, they were denied access and sent back on the ferry to France. Trying to figure out their next move, the family slept on the floor of Calais Port for a few days.
Eventually, a family friend who lived in Germany came to pick them up. They stayed in Germany for a couple of days, before deciding they would try coming to Ireland again, but this time take a ferry straight from France to Rosslare.
Further complications arose when they went to buy the tickets. As their passports had been stamped to indicate they were deported from the UK, the officials at the port couldn’t sell tickets to them.
Adas remembers these people were helpful. A subsequent phone call by the officials to the Irish Ambassador to France – at his home of a Sunday – secured them passage. They were told they could take their chances with Irish emigration on the other side.
“We arrived in Ireland, they took us into the emigration office, looked at our documents and said, ‘Welcome to Ireland’,” Adas recalls with a smile. “It was unbelievable. We arrived and we had nowhere to even stay, because we had made plans but they all fell through.
“We drove from Rosslare to Drogheda. The first place we went to was the letting agents, the first house they had we took it.”
A new life
Life in Ireland proved to be good for Adas and his family.
“From the very start it was a very different life here. We were very happy from the start. We fell in love with Ireland immediately, I would say. Of course we missed home initially, but we had a much better life here. We had a lot more going for us.”
As the eldest, Adas had the most English. But he says they were all immersed and learned very quickly. His little sister, who was just four, was playing and speaking with other children within a week.
Arriving in March 2002, Adas didn’t go to school until the following September.
“I got a job straight away, even though I was 14. I wanted to help the family. I worked doing all kinds of jobs, very low paid jobs. Since I was 14 I have worked all the way up to now. I have never really not had a job.
“I found a job by accident really. I was going to help someone in an interview, because they had no English and I was going to be the translator. But the guy was like, ‘Oh do you want a job too doing odd bits?’ So I just started working. I worked all through school at the weekends. That’s the good thing about Ireland, there was always work around to make some extra money.”
In school, Adas’s motivation continued and he went on to study software development at Dundalk IT (DkIT).
I tried hard in school. It was probably a little bit harder to make friends in school here than it was in Lithuania
“I liked school. I guess I was a motivated kid. I knew what I needed to do in school to get to where I wanted. I tried hard in school. It was probably a little bit harder to make friends in school here than it was in Lithuania. We left all our friends behind.
“Probably the family became stronger, because we had each other and we spent more time with each other. I did make some friends and we joined a church, Drogheda Presbyterian Church.”
As a family, they have faith. Adas says he thanks God for everything that has happened.
The gift of giving
It was through church that Adas met his wife Tracey. His brother is married to her best friend and their sisters are also married to two best friends.
It was through church too that Adas first heard about the Shoebox Appeal and made the realisation that this is why he got a shoebox in the first place.
“This was probably about 10 years ago. I think I was still in college at the time. When I heard about it I was like, ‘Oh wow, I got a shoebox’. So did my siblings, so we were all kind of excited. We didn’t know where the shoeboxes had come from. I didn’t know Ireland was one of the countries making up the shoeboxes.
I remember, especially the first year, making it as if I was making it for myself. I was putting in all the fancy things, buying the best things
“We were like, ‘Wow we can actually make shoeboxes now to send to kids like we were’. So we were excited to get involved and my parents were too. We made up a bunch of shoeboxes. I remember, especially the first year, making it as if I was making it for myself. I was putting in all the fancy things, buying the best things. I knew children like me would be getting them.”
Adas and his siblings continue to make shoeboxes every year. The company Adas works for, Guidewire Software, allowed him to share his story with his co-workers. The company now collectively supports the appeal every year.
Last year they donated 202 boxes, as well as sending groups to volunteer at a checking centre. This year, as the appeal cannot physically take place, people are asked to support the cause by making a donation online. So, whatever is donated by employees, the company will match.
Adas has also carried on the shoebox tradition with his own children. Comparing his upbringing to that of his children, Adas sees huge differences. But looking back, he still considers his experience a happy one.
“I think I kind of have issues from growing up the way I did. I hate saying no to my kids, even in situations where I should say no. My wife will say no more easily, because I guess she had a different childhood. They always ask me, because they know I’m a lot softer. It’s almost like a mental thing for me, where I want to give them things. I kind of struggle with that a little bit, I need to hold back.
Apart from the times maybe realising that we were lacking food, besides that I had a happy childhood
“They do have a very different life than I did. Not that I’m saying I had a bad life growing up, I didn’t know any different, so to me my childhood was brilliant. Apart from the times maybe realising that we were lacking food, besides that I had a happy childhood. I had friends, my parents were great parents.”
When travel was more open, Adas would return to Lithuania a couple of times a year. Last year, he and his son Elias, who was three at the time, went on “a boys’ holiday” to his home country. This year, he had planned to visit with his next eldest, his daughter Izabella, who is now three. But unfortunately, they were unable to travel, so the pair went on a hotel break instead, just the two of them.
Although he came to Ireland for a better life and his children are having a very different experience to him, it’s abundantly clear Adas hasn’t forgotten where he comes from, or how he can give back to others like him.
The annual Team Hope Christmas Shoebox Appeal has moved for the first time to a virtual appeal. People across Ireland are asked to #TeamUpForTeamHope by donating gift-filled shoeboxes online to children affected by poverty for €20 at teamhope.ie.
Schools, families, friends, communities and businesses are encouraged to work together, in whatever way they can safely, to donate as many shoeboxes as possible up to 23 December. Participants can celebrate their efforts during the first ever Team Hope Christmas Shoebox Appeal Week, which will take place from 9-15 November.