Holidaying with kids is tricky. Even trickier when you throw your husband into the mix. We are busy preparing for our summer holiday and – I have to say – I am having a difficult time looking forward to our trip. Mainly because I am so unbelievably busy trying to make all of the preparations, pack and finish up all of my work before we leave.
I know, when I’m sitting on the plane, I’ll start to feel excited. Beach, camping, friends – what more could you want in a holiday abroad? We are so lucky that we can get away from the farm for a few weeks; that we have family and friends that can step in and help while we’re not around. Not many farming families have this luxury; and I’m really grateful that we’re even able to go.
That said, to any other working wives of farmers out there – do you ever feel like your work is the lowest household priority? I have a demanding job, and during the summer months childcare also falls largely to me.
I have a hard time getting anything done with my children crawling all over me. The fights, the tantrums, the no-bedtime-because-the-sun-is-still-out – just being a mother during the summer is a full-time job.
I used to do a lot of work while my husband was finishing up his farm jobs and the kids were in bed – now, they don’t actually go to bed
My other job – the one I actually get paid to do – can suffer during the summer months as a result. Deadlines get missed, silly mistakes are made. This is mainly because of the bedtime dilemma. I used to do a lot of work while my husband was finishing up his farm jobs and the kids were in bed – now, they don’t actually go to bed. Indeed, my two-year-old has fully refused her cot and will now sleep only in my bed or on the couch, in my arms. How does one ever get any work done in this situation?
With our holiday looming, I have a task list that is a mile long: huge amounts of cleaning, packing and gardening need to be done and my husband is nowhere in sight.
I saw him briefly yesterday using a chainsaw to cut back the brambles around my garden. I’m sure he thought he was doing me a favour, but he lobbed off a few of my precious plants in the process – I haven’t said anything, but I am livid.
When I make a silly mistake because I don’t have time to sit down and work uninterrupted, it hurts
His summer remains unaltered through all of this. After all, the cows still need to be milked twice a day. Fencing absolutely has to be kept on top of. Animals need to be inseminated. I get it – but my work is also valuable.
When I make a silly mistake because I don’t have time to sit down and work uninterrupted, it hurts. When my husband casually mentions helping to get the packing done, and then starts chopping the heads off of my favourite plants, it upsets me.
And then we’re the ones who get told to calm down. We’re the ones getting over-excited and worked-up.
I am looking forward to this holiday; I truly am. But I also know that, as soon as we get home, there will be a large pile of washing with my name on it. My eldest will be back in school within the week, and those preparations will be up to me.
It does make me wonder if it’s worth taking holidays with small children. Do they even realise what’s happening? Will they remember anything?
And my two youngest will be in playschool and childcare, both of which – you guessed it – I will be organising; filling nappy bags and preparing snacks while trying to plan my own work-week.
It does make me wonder if it’s worth taking holidays with small children. Do they even realise what’s happening? Will they remember anything? It is so much work and preparation, and once you arrive at your destination, nappies still need to be changed and sunscreen still needs to be applied.
But then you take cute beach photos of your smiley toddler in her swim gear.
You see your two eldest actually playing nicely together – splashing in the waves and giggling endlessly. You get to teach them how to toast marshmallows over a campfire and go out for ice creams as big as their heads.
These memories will always be there for them to re-live through photos and stories, but mostly, the memories made on our holidays are for me and my husband. They are only young once, as we say, and I don’t feel like remembering the tantrums and the fights. I would rather see them as sweet little children, enjoying the summer with their parents.
That is why I do the work (and will continue to do the work). Bon voyage to you all.
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