This is a subscriber-only article
A recent letter (“I thought I had finally met Mr Right,” published 29 April edition) evoked a strong response from our readers. Here are just two examples of the letters that we received. Thanks for taking the time to get in touch.
Hi Miriam,
I was very moved by the letter from Lonely Lady in the 29 April edition.
It struck a clear note with me of a similar experience that happened to me years ago when I visited a friend who was working in Claremorris.
We went to the local disco where a very handsome man asked me to dance and we subsequently stayed together (at the disco), chatting and dancing. Later he walked me home to my friend’s house, where I asked him in for tea, which, for me, meant just that, as it afforded us more time to chat, and as happened, snog. So, in my innocence then, I was a bit surprised when he started and continued, to hint at the bedroom. But that was not even a consideration for me and like Lonely Lady’s interest, he went off home. However, I was hugely attracted to him. He ticked all the proverbial boxes and, as soon as I could manage it, I went over again to visit my friend, and hopefully, meet him again. We went off to the disco and, to my delight, there he was having a drink and chatting with his friends. But imagine my disappointment when he completely ignored me! I was gutted! On subsequent reflection, I figured that he was “only after the one thing” and was using his charm to get it. And this is why Lonely Lady’s letter resonated so strongly with me.
Lonely Lady had a lucky escape, in my view, and her “wonderful” man’s lack of interest in her interests was also a red flag.
She said she has tried online dating, which was not successful. What about the marriage matchmaking agencies which deal with people who are genuinely ready to settle down with someone and which have the means and expertise in pairing people who just might work together?
Also, if her working hours are an issue in forming a relationship, maybe she could consider looking for another job? At this point in her life, finding a companion seems to be a priority, so perhaps she should treat it as such?
She sounds like a lovely lady and I really hope she finds a man who is deserving of her and who would love to enjoy life with her, which would, of course, include meals out and going to the cinema!
Dear Miriam,
The letter struck a chord with me as my son is in exactly the same situation and it is having a very negative effect on his psychological wellbeing. He is happy in his work life and in his home environment, but he is very socially isolated and lonely.
He works 12-hour shifts, both night and day, over the seven days of the week and finds it extremely difficult to meet either friends or potential partners. He is living in a county where he did not grow up, so he has no foundation friends in the area.
Like the lady who wrote to you, he has left no stone unturned in his quest for social interaction but it’s very hard. He is waiting to join a local club to pursue a lifelong interest but it will take time. Meanwhile, I was searching for some sort of support for him and I heard about the Social Prescribing Service provided by the HSE. I emailed the social prescriber in his area and explained my son’s situation and he is now nearing the end of a three-week wait for a consultation.
I can’t, as yet, tell you how it will work out but we travel forward in hope. It may be a possibility for the Lonely Lady.
SHARING OPTIONS: