Last week we went to Kilkenny Castle where Minister of State at the Department of Defence, Mr Paul Kehoe TD, accompanied by the chief of staff of the Defence Forces, Vice Admiral Mark Mellett DSM, reviewed the 53rd Infantry Group. The 187 soldiers will deploy to south Lebanon with the United Nations Interim Force in Lebanon (UNIFIL) on 17 May.

The previous few days had been manic in our house as Philip readied his bags. In typically army fashion, it was done to a list. The ticks were placed on the list as he packed the 14 pairs of socks and so on. The room was quite a battle site after the military manoeuvres, resulting in two neat bags that would form the basis of Lieutenant Philip O’Leary’s life for the next six months.

Next step was celebration and good wishes from the Government on behalf of the Irish nation.

Uniform perfect

We arrived at Kilkenny Castle with plenty of time to spare. The grey, majestic castle was the perfect backdrop for the uniform-perfect troops on the lawn. A practice run was underway. It allowed me to get over my emotions and focus on the proceedings.

Very quickly, I picked out my son. As always, he was unflinching. Concentration is paramount and for once I’m glad of the robust training that ensures that their attention will be optimum in Lebanon. Although it is 10 years since the last Israeli-Hezbollah war, every mother is concerned about their sons and daughters returning home safely in November. Bridie Reilly, Helen Lanigan, Claire Lyons and myself had our “I know how you feel” looks pass between us.

While Irish soldiers rarely come to harm, mothers can’t help but fret. Meanwhile, dads seem to take it in their stride. Tim asks me: “What did you expect? This is what he signed up for.”

“I know,” I answer, and I steel myself to keep my emotions in check. The parade was impressive, the music from the army band was evocative and we felt immensely proud of our son, Philip.

Missing him

When Philip went to the Curragh on that first day, I cried a river of tears. I’m not sure why I thought the army had stolen my son. Come the 17 May, the tears will fall again because I will miss his bubbly personality about the place and his tremendous help to us all on the farm. First and foremost, Philip is an officer in the Irish army – but a very good farmer second. All through the spring, when Philip would come home, there would be skin and hair flying. More correctly, it would be straw and water, as he bedded animals and washed down yards.

Ours isn’t the only farm to lose that extra help. Private David English is ready for his first trip. His parents, James and Marion, are beef and sheep farmers from Co Carlow. While David will miss home and his girlfriend Chloe, he will also miss the GAA.

Lieutenant Fergal Reilly from Longford, who trained with Philip, is anxious “that everyone comes home safely, having represented themselves well”. Fergal will miss home and his girlfriend Lisa. His mum, Bridie, will keep the show on the road on their beef heifer farm.

Lieutenant Kevin Lanigan finds helping out on the dairy farm therapeutic. Like Colm O’Leary, Dermot Lanigan is happy to provide the therapy for his brother. He travels to Lebanon as the press officer, providing the link between UNIFIL and the Irish Defence Forces press office. He will miss home, his girlfriend Therese and the hurling.

Lieutenant Ciara Sheehan hails from Murroe, Co Limerick. She was attracted to the army for a varied and exciting lifestyle. She is one of nine women travelling. She recognises that men and women think and react differently. She will miss home profoundly but feels that she has been given the training to cope.

She’s a bit apprehensive “about moving my life into a different environment in the heat and being homesick”. She says: “The lads become your best friends, almost like a sibling relationship. On a down day, we will be there for each other.”

Sore feet

We walked with the troops from Kilkenny Castle to the Town Hall and on to James Stephens Barrack. I did not realise that we would be walking and I had high heels on – I suffered. After a lovely reception, I was sitting on the wall in front of the barracks with Philip, waiting for Tim to bring the car as the feet could not do the journey back. Lieutenant Colonel Stephen Ryan happened along. He is the commanding officer of the 53rd Infantry Group. This is his eighth tour of duty abroad.

Chatting to him, he said that every trip is better than the last – meeting brilliant people in fantastic parts of the world. As a mother, I got to appreciate another side of the experience. It’s not all work and fear and tension.

Stephen described an evening scene, sitting having a drink, looking out at an olive grove, looking across at a valley where Jesus walked, with the landscape of Israel stretched out before you.

That one scene was enough to relax this mother and is helping me to let my son go without too many tears. He’s in safe hands, the soldiers he will command are also in safe hands. Of course, we will miss him and his girlfriend Aileen will miss him – but as Tim says: “This is what he signed up for.”

So here’s wishing the 53rd Infantry Group all the luck in the world or, as their commanding officer told me: “You make your own luck!” CL