Question: I have a younger sister who recently agreed to the expansion of the dairy farm she owns with her husband.

She has a stressful job off-farm where she works long hours and now, she’s expected to pitch in with calving and all the other jobs that come at this time of year. She used to travel a lot with her work, but that seems to have stopped and I’ve only just discovered she has been turning down work opportunities as she feels she is needed on the farm.

I’ve watched her work so hard in her career and while I know her husband loves her very much, I don’t think he appreciates the sacrifices she is making for what is essentially his dream not hers.

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She’s gone very thin and looks so tired all the time. I have tried to get her to take a break, but she always says no. How can I support her without sticking my nose in?

– A concerned sister, Co Limerick

Dear reader,

While it does sound like your sister has a lot on her plate right now, as most farming families do at this time of year, it sounds to me like this is the life she has chosen to live.

You say she is expected to pitch in, but I imagine this was part of the consideration that went in to expanding the farm, so such extra demands will have been discussed and taken into account by your sister and her husband.

My main advice is to keep your opinions on her life choices to yourself. If there is any truth in what you suspect, you will make it very hard for her to confide in you if she thinks you are criticising her

While it may look to you like she has a wonderful career, with opportunities to travel, her priorities may have shifted and if she is choosing to step back from some of the stresses to accommodate farm work, that is her choice.

If, however, you are concerned at the physical impact juggling both the farm and her job are having on her, you could suggest she goes for a check-up with her doctor, just to make sure she’s not compromising her health by trying to do it all.

My main advice is to keep your opinions on her life choices to yourself. If there is any truth in what you suspect, you will make it very hard for her to confide in you if she thinks you are criticising her.

Reader writes

Your letter from the lonely farmer (Irish Country Living, 5 March 2026) reflects a sadly common problem here in Co Mayo.

I wonder did he try signing up with a dating agency or joining a local book club in his area?

I know most of the book clubs near me are made up of women, as is the local drama group or choir.

Many lonely single ladies join such groups or community groups as a volunteer, while many men also sign up to these groups to escape the isolation of living in rural communities. There are some thriving groups running in Castlebar, Swinford and Ballina.

I know, as a married woman, many of my single friends are involved in these groups and I would just like to let this gentleman know that being single is not a failure, it’s purely the isolation of farming.

I hope he can be encouraged to go out and join a group that interests him as I know many people who married later in life after meeting their partner in such places.

Wishing him luck and company.

Do you have a problem you would like to share? If so, write in confidence to: Dear Miriam, Agony Aunt, Irish Country Living, Irish Farmers Journal, Irish Farm Centre, Bluebell, Dublin 12, or email miriam@farmersjournal.ie