Kerry TDs Michael Healy Rae and Danny Healy Rae have promised to roof the entire country next year, should they be elected to govern following the next general election.

While the country will go to the polls, the Healy Raes will be buying poles, along with concrete and galvanised sheeting to erect the largest shed the country will have ever seen.

The dynamic Kerry duo said on Monday 1 April that they plan to run a candidate in every constituency around the country and to form a government of their own.

In response to the move, the Green Party has confirmed that it will join a coalition government with the Healy Raes – if they commit to putting solar panels on the roof of the shed.

Grant aided

It remains to be seen if the shed and the solar panels will be grant aided under the Targeted Agricultural Modernisation Scheme (TAMS).

The soaring reference costs for the project have been cited as an issue. Power generated from the solar panels is expected to power homes, farms and businesses around the country, along with new electrical bikes for TDs and senators which will come in under a new Leinster House Bike to Work Scheme.

A bike charging station is to be installed on the grounds of Leinster House, ruling out any plans for a green space in front of the country’s parliament.

Rainwater is also to be harvested from the roof of the shed, with tanks located mostly in the east of the country. This is to allow water to be pumped into Dublin city, which is dealing with a water shortage.

Rewetting

Any leftover water that isn’t used in the capital is to be pumped back down the country for rewetting purposes in the country’s bogs.

Reacting to the plan, Sinn Féin has called for the entire island to be roofed.

Sources in Government Buildings said TDs from Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael were left scratching their heads at the move, with one seasoned politician telling the Irish Farmers Journal: “Why the hell didn’t we think of that?”.