Desperate Farmwife: Why are pre-teens obsessed with skincare?

Our eldest turned 11 over the summer and the last few weeks have been a mixture of extreme pride – she has just matured so much in such a short time – and complete bewilderment at what 11-year-old girls value today versus what we valued in the past.

I am so proud of my daughter. Ten was a tumultuous age. She fought me on everything and told me I was ruining her life on at least 300 of those 365 days. Eleven, so far, appears less intense. She is settling into school, is a good friend, looks after her younger cousins and is active in music and sports.

I can’t recall what I asked for on my 11th birthday (it was a while ago), but I can assure you – it had nothing to do with hyaluronic acid. What did my 11-year-old ask for? You probably guessed it – she asked for skincare items. Expensive ones. Items no 11-year-old needs or should have the business of owning.

She asked for serums and body sprays and tanning drops. She asked to go to Sephora. Se-where?! I had to Google that one. It turns out Sephora is an extremely expensive cosmetics shop – and the closest one to us is in London. So no, she did not travel internationally to shop for items she doesn’t need.

But I did buckle and buy her some skincare products for her birthday. And now, she has a more expensive morning routine than her own mother (don’t tell her, but I have been sneaking some of her serum to use on my own skin each morning).

So what is it with modern-day pre-teens and skincare?

Social media has a whole lot to do with it. Most of my daughter’s friends have their own phones and access to their own social media accounts.

This is something her father and I have not allowed, much to our daughter’s disgust. Still, phone or no, she has access to YouTube shorts on her tablet and our smart television, and these skin influencers are all over the shop.

It turns out there are a few benefits to this new pre-teen obsession. Our kids are learning the value of self-care and the importance of sun protection

‘Get Ready with Me’ videos are where influencers apply their skincare and put on makeup while telling stories or discussing a specific topic. ‘OOTD’ means ‘Outfit of the Day’ and similar Instagram posts and videos cover this topic. All of these things are thrown at our pre-teen girls every day.

At school, their friends might have gone to London to visit the dreaded Sephora. They are using expensive tonics and moisturisers at home, and our own kids are starting to feel left out.

I keep telling myself – it could be worse. They could be vaping on these videos. Instead of OOTD, it could be TOTD (Tattoo of the Day). And with these influencers, there is usually nothing related to online bullying or the other things we worry about with our children online.

That said, these videos can be damaging to a child’s self-image.

Anyway, I digress. I didn’t want her to feel left out, so I bought her the skincare. But, first, I did my research.

It turns out there are a few benefits to this new pre-teen obsession. Our kids are learning the value of self-care and the importance of sun protection.

According to dermatologists, the best skincare routine for pre-teens is as follows (and can I just add – this is the exact same advice they were giving out when I was 11): gently cleanse, apply a light sunscreen and moisturise.

Ingredients like retinol and other exfoliating acids can do more harm than good – they should not be used on young skin at all. Pre-teens should also avoid anything with Vitamin C, alpha or beta-hydroxy acids or peptides.

I was surprised to learn that hyaluronic acid isn’t at all bad for pre-teens – it hydrates their skin without clogging their pores, which is what often leads to acne breakouts.

I feel pretty good about the products she is using each morning, having done that research. My wallet though? I don’t think it’s ever going to recover.

Please God don’t let them bring Sephora to Ireland, that’s all I ask.

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