Question: I am on the verge of tears as I write this. I am months away from moving into my dream home but it is causing chaos in my marriage. The long road to building on my family’s land has taken almost three years, with planning permission causing huge headaches.

To make it worse we have had to try to find the money to finish what started out as an affordable house, and which has since become a financial drain.

My husband is adamant that we move in before Christmas, even though the house won’t be finished until early February. We have had so many setbacks at every stage of the project, that I am in no rush anymore. I just want to be sure that when we move in, everything is finished and as it should be.

But my husband has grown frustrated with all the delays and he just wants in. I am afraid that if we move in before all the jobs are completed, they will never get done, and we’ll end up paying for our impatience.

We have been living with my parents for the past six months and my husband is longing for his own place.

We are fighting constantly about this and I am afraid that by the time we move in, we will have done irreparable damage to our relationship.

– Anxious Limerick reader

Dear reader,

I am sorry to hear that you’re having difficulties in your relationship.

It is, however, understandable given the rocky road you’ve travelled to get to your own home – which is, I might add, a fantastic achievement which will be a source of great pride to you both in the years ahead.

The stress of a house build is very real and you both have valid reasons for feeling the way you do.

You say you have only had to share a home with your parents for six months.

As well as everyone is coping, this is possibly the most stressful stretch, now you’re getting close to the finish line.

Christmas deadlines are the reason so many people end up rushing the final stages of a house build and for what?

The festive season brings enough stresses and strains, so I think you are right not to pressurise yourself to meet a deadline that is unrealistic if there are still three months of work outstanding on the project.

Your husband needs convincing of this fact and one way you might do that is to take some time away from the project. If you could both take a day off and head away somewhere in nature, maybe a beach or a forest walk, with the express condition of no house talk, you might press pause on the tension and reconnect on a lighter level.

It may also be the time to suggest a weekend away in the new year, finances permitting, where both you and your husband can chill out, as you await the start of a new adventure in your beautiful home.

It will all be worth it in the end as you reach your goal.

Do you have a problem you would like to share? If so, write in confidence to: Dear Miriam Agony Aunt, Irish Country Living, Irish Farmers Journal, Irish Farm Centre, Bluebell, Dublin 12, or email miriam@farmersjournal.ie