Katherine's country: The wedding has arrived

It is three days after Julie and David’s wedding and life is returning to normal. The show must go on for the O’Learys and the Helens. Each farm had the bare minimum done for a few days and now animals and farmyards are calling for attention.

I thought I had absolutely embraced the new phase that my daughter Julie was now married to David. But here I am with this feeling of a heavy heart and a new void in my life.

Women up and down the country warned me of the anti-climax that I would feel after Julie’s wedding. It’s the weirdest sensation, fluctuating between nostalgia for times past and anticipation of times to come and a profound wish to do it all again.

There is no point pretending that I was not tearful as I closed the door on my radiant daughter as she went off with Tim, her dad, to be married. I would not have dreamt of that rush of emotion. That was the point, for me, where Julie’s old life with us at the centre ended and her new one begun.

It proved to be a wonderful day beyond all our wildest dreams, but there were moments when my tears escaped.

THE MORNING

The weather was awful. There was a list and everything was planned. We kept the house relatively quiet. Fr John Campion, my cousin, had stayed the night before and it was lovely to have him. I came down at 6.30am to find Julie already dressed and waiting for the hair and makeup girls to arrive. Shortly afterwards the bridesmaids, Cath, Katie, Lorna and Laura, arrived and busied themselves with tending to Julie and beautifying themselves.

Don O’Neill, the fabulous dress designer, and his partner Paschal Gullermie, extraordinary florist, arrived around 10.30am. They sprang into action putting the finishing touches to Julie’s exquisite Theia petal dress and veil. Pascal had made her bouquet out of silk flowers. Katie and Lorna and I put the ribbons on the cars. We tried to keep dry. The lads were out organising the yard.

Then, there was a flurry of people arriving as my brothers Phil and Conor and sister Ben arrived with their families and the bubbling flower girls. The morning was flying by. Diarmuid was practicing his reading. The photographers arrived, as did the videographer, and it was all go.

It was beautiful and special and Julie was the centre of attention. The image of her standing with her flower girls and bridesmaids in the hall by the Christmas tree will stay with me forever. I couldn’t take my eyes off her and that is how I spent the day, watching and bursting with pride as she openly expressed her love for David.

Julie walked up the aisle with Tim to the voices of her two brothers, Philip and Colm, singing Red is the Rose and, yes, it was time for tears.

Tim was beaming with pride and David’s handsome face, that had been tense, vividly relaxed as he took in his beautiful bride.

A NEW FAMILY

Both Julie and David were the first born in their families. Both arrived prematurely, tiny and vulnerable. In many ways, the two families who have been united through Julie and David’s wedding have much in common. Firstly, we are rural people and farming people, so we understand each other. We also have over 70 years of marriage under our belts between us.

We know the journey that Julie and David have been on to get to this happy point in their lives. It has not been without difficulty. Both of them have physical challenges but it has never defined them.

At the beginning of the journey, there was huge support and goodwill for us as parents as we came to terms with our children’s difficulties. I think this is what made Julie and David’s wedding so very special. This love and support was now being projected towards Julie and David. You could feel it in the church and in the reception room and on the dance floor and in the residents’ bar late into the night. Everyone wanted them to be happy. Everyone celebrated them, willing them onward to future successes.

Back then, there was the support, the love, admiration and hope from our aunties and uncles, our siblings and our parents. Then a plethora of cousins followed and a new generation, all radiating love, added their forces to the celebrations. I’ve no doubt that their energy spurred Julie and David on.

CELEBRATING DIFFERENCE

Julie and David’s wedding went seamlessly, moving easily from one scene to the next. As the day progressed, it became evident just how much work Julie had put into the day. Her special touch of class was on everything. Then, there were things that you knew they had planned together. There was a very special first dance – I’ll tell you about that next week – and other memorable moments, but, for now, I want to thank all of you readers who sent lovely messages. I was truly overwhelmed by your generosity of spirit and genuine good wishes for both Julie and David. I would love to do it all again.

In Tim’s eloquent, father-of-the-bride speech, he said that Julie and David’s wedding was a symbol of a new and grownup Ireland where we are willing to accept difference and embrace it. The Helen and O’Leary clans have come together. There will be many happy times and challenging times ahead for Julie and David, but they know they have our full support.

We are so proud of them both and thrilled to have a whole new family to get to know and share friendship with for many years to come.