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Ireland has come a long way since the 70s, both socially and culturally. The extent of these changes is told in historical documentaries or episodes of Reeling in the Years. However, it is not often that the mood and psyche of a nation is captured through personal letters of people’s own accounts of their lives and experiences. But that is the legacy of The Gay Byrne Show, the RTÉ1 radio show, which ran from 1973 to 1998.
Gay’s daughter, Suzy Byrne, has compiled a collection of the handwritten letters sent to the show over 25 years in a new book, Dear Gay: Letters to the Gay Byrne Show. The letters highlight the deep connection people felt to Gay and the show and the trust garnered over the years, how every day for two hours, Gay would fill their homes with comfort, tears and laughter - a lifeline for many.
In Dear Gay, chapters have been split into subjects covered in the letters, such as women’s rights, domestic and institutional abuse, mental health and homosexuality. Subjects that after being highlighted on the show, sparked nationwide conversation and debate.
The Gay effect
Gay Byrne was one of Ireland’s most famous and popular broadcasters not just because of his interview skills. His show was broadcast during a time when radio had peak listenership – no internet and social media to contend with – and it occurred during a period of significant change in Ireland. Plus, there was an undeniable charm that made “Gaybo” a familiar figure in all households.
“I think people trusted him because he really listened,” says Suzy. “Catherine Corless’s quote in the book sums him up well. She says, ‘he got to the level of the person.’ He was never condescending or disbelieving and he literally took everybody at the value of what they wanted to say. He was very encouraging of people to communicate with him, the crux being that he was of the time. He had been educated by the Christian Brothers, he grew up in a very Catholic household, and he knew things that were going on.
“The early letters were quite light and then once people started to write in about more personal things, it just builds from there. He chose what letters to read. He actually rehearsed reading the letters beforehand, so that when he read your letter, he got it on the nail; he knew the sentiment of it, when to pause,” Suzy recalls.
“Lots of times in the audios, when I was listening to it doing my research, you hear him saying, ‘I want you to stop what you’re doing, whatever it is, sit down. Listen to this because you need to hear this letter.’ He was able to do this because he had rehearsed it and knew what was coming, and then he’d get responses in. He encouraged people to phone in, and he had to fight to be allowed to do phone conversations and let people call in from home. He believed very strongly that if you were in your kitchen calling, or at the end of your stairs, as we all were back then, that you were much more inclined to tell your story than you would be if you’d come into the studio.”
Social issues
Suzy conducted her research with the RTÉ Archives in which all of the letters written to The Gay Byrne Show from 1982 to 1998 were kept on record. She also listened to countless hours of audio of the show and there are records of show running orders, scripts and her father’s handwritten show notes. While there were thousands of letters and subjects covered, the difficult task was whittling everything down. Some subjects were tougher than others to do, but she decided honing in on personal stories, and not opinion, was the best way to focus it.
“I found that certain chapters in the book, like the one around homosexuality, were a huge shock to me. I was unaware of, and the extent to which, being gay in Ireland was so isolating and horrendous for people,” explains Suzy.
“The letters in that chapter were phenomenal insofar as the attitude of people about it, but also the attitude of people who were gay. That was one of the only topics where you saw men writing in. Letters about being resigned to a life of loneliness, and not being able to bring it to their parents. That from a very early age they knew they were somehow different and trying to change, then realising what it was and that meant they would always be on their own.”
“And then you’ve other letters for a mother whose daughter had come out as a lesbian, and she was just so happy and delighted that she just happens to have a daughter who just happens to be a lesbian.”
“There are stories in letters I read that are so dark they will stay with me forever and then there’s lovely stuff, funny stories, and the moving statues in Ballinspittle.”
“Northern Ireland is the one chapter that we chose to only focus on Enniskillen because it was of that time and there were loads of letters, whereas Omagh was later on and he had also done an Omagh special on The Late Late Show.”
Women’s strength
In reading people’s letters live on air, Gay was giving a voice to thousands of women in Ireland who had until then remained silent, about personal and societal issues in the country.
Suzy says, “I think when you read the letters, and they are predominantly from women, you realise how incredible their resilience and strength was. Women were suffering hugely in many situations, and producing huge families and, no matter what, were able to raise children who went on to do great things, but they were the backbone.”
“So, gradually their stories came out and ended the secrecy. It was huge. I think that’s where that momentum of change came from, and why the book is so phenomenally powerful, not because of him [Gay], because of them, the women of Ireland. Women were listening, they were at home and they wrote in, and they changed everything; they started this whole realisation that things can be changed, and they did.”
Dear Gay: Letters to The Gay Byrne Show. A Handwritten History of Ireland. Gill Books, €21.99.
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