I am very worried about a good friend of mine who is in her mid-30s and has recently met a new partner.

Her last relationship was over 10 years ago and since then I’ve watched her thrive. She’s embraced single life and focused on building her career.

A few months ago, she told me she had met someone new, but didn’t divulge too much about him other than what he worked at and how they met.

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She seems really keen on him, but the worry I have is that this man is a good bit younger than her. She told me he is more than 10 years her junior, which would put him in his early 20s. I haven’t said anything to her but secretly I’m nervous about the age gap – I can’t shake the worry that he might break her heart and move on.

I would hate to see her get hurt again but she seems totally blind to the possibility that he might leave her. I would find it very difficult to raise my concerns with her and the last thing I want to do is spoil the romance she’s experiencing so early in the relationship.

I want to support her, but I worry their age gap could be a deal breaker in the long run?

– Worried friend,

Co Cork.

Dear reader,

You seem like a very good friend to this lady, whose welfare is of utmost concern to you but I would urge caution in how you proceed with this delicate matter.

You say she has not been in a relationship for over a decade, during which time she presumably healed from her previous union, and decided she was going to devote her time and energy to building the life she wanted.

It also sounds like she has succeeded in many areas, with her career going well and her having a fulfilled life, with good friends such as yourself.

Embarking on a new relationship is a risk for both parties and placing trust in another person is not something many do lightly. I’m sure your friend has thought long and hard before settling into her decision to date again

I’m sure this is still a work in progress, as it is for us all, but now that she has met someone, she is happy to introduce to her friends as her new partner, I think you’re going to have to trust her to know what makes her happy.

Embarking on a new relationship is a risk for both parties and placing trust in another person is not something many do lightly. I’m sure your friend has thought long and hard before settling into her decision to date again.

She will be very aware of the difference in age between herself and her partner, but if it isn’t an issue for them as a couple, then it shouldn’t be a concern for anyone else.

Age gaps in relationships are no longer uncommon or taboo, even when the woman is older than her male partner. I wonder however, that were your friend dating a man 10 years older than her, would you have the same fears for the future of their relationship?

If this relationship doesn’t work out, she will need friends around to support her in the aftermath. However, if they do thrive as a couple, she will also want to have her friends in her life, as a sounding board for any concerns she has, as well as to celebrate all the wonderful moments she experiences as part of a couple.

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