Lately, my newsfeed has been nothing but stories about the British royal family. I’m not sure I care about the (extremely privileged) lives the royals lead. Regardless of their troubles, they have so much; so much money, so much power and they live in a bubble, untouched by common lives and troubles. I understand they are real human beings with human emotions, but I also know they are able to afford the very best psychological care, unlike many others.

Harry and Meghan have caused such a stir, though I can’t help but contemplate their situation.

There’s probable in-fighting between siblings over inheritance

And, truthfully, say what you want about Meghan Markle, but it can be very difficult to marry into such an established family. I say this because I see more than a few similarities to marrying into a farming family.

There’s probable in-fighting between siblings over inheritance, the issue of land, the line of duty and the monarch-like head of family. As a woman marrying into such a family has the potential to be damaging to confidence and self-esteem.

I think I might be the Kate Middleton in our family (minus the legs, stylist and fantastic hair). Yes, I married into “the Firm” – I’m not actually a member of the family.

No winning

But my husband and I did everything the right and proper way. We spent an ample amount of time – both together and with our families – in the lead-up to our marriage. I spent time with my in-laws, reassuring them that I was not in it “for the land” and my intentions were honourable. We didn’t do anything my in-laws might think embarrassing. We were a bit old-fashioned and honoured tradition.

After this happened, my husband stepped in to help his father, causing a slight rift between the brothers

My brother-in-law (let’s call him Prince Harry) was meant to take over the farm. Then, without warning, he got married and subsequently fell out with my father-in-law. Just like Meghan, people tend to blame his wife (“He was never like that before he got married”). After this happened, my husband stepped in to help his father, causing a slight rift between the brothers. It’s a sad situation. It’s always sad when this happens in families.

I feel for Kate Middleton, who has done her duty, knew what she was marrying into and understood it wouldn’t be a walk in the park. She’s had three very public births and has shown a lot of grace and kindness – because that’s what her role requires.

I also feel for Meghan Markle, who had dreams and ambitions and achieved so much before meeting her husband

Being a royal has become her career. Likewise, farming has morphed into mine, in many ways. It doesn’t matter what I do for a living, family and farm come first.

I also feel for Meghan Markle, who had dreams and ambitions and achieved so much before meeting her husband, who was expected to just give everything up when she married into the royal family. I felt this way, too, when I had small babies and was just barely surviving as a full-time mammy on the farm.

It was never enough for me to just have dinner on the table, and I’m sure it’s not enough for her to just show up to public engagements and give the odd speech.

The monarch

I think, at the end of the day, it comes down to whether you can leave or not. Some people are just blissfully able to walk away, without worrying too much about the fallout.

Sometimes I wish I had the nerve to do that, but I have to see things through to the end. I don’t know if I’ve committed to a life of farming or it just “happened” and I’ve gotten used to it, but I do know I’ve always been committed to my family – and this includes the family I married into.

Like the royal family, we have our good points and our bad. Like the royal family, we must adhere to a line of succession (for some reason). Like the royal family, we must respect and listen to our monarch (because the monarch is more experienced, even though we may have modern ideas – also, the monarch’s name is on the deeds).

Family matters can often seem messy, but it’s important to remember that each member is on their chosen path, in line with their own passions and commitments. In the case of William and Kate; Harry and Meghan; my husband and his brother – they are each moving in the right direction for them, even if it’s further apart for now. Hopefully, with mutual respect, love and understanding, their paths will merge again.