Editorial: a Christmas miracle

The magic of Santa, the story of the nativity play, the wonder in their eyes. Christmas truly is a time for children, a magical moment to cherish, and I am very lucky to be right in the heart of that with my four-year old and two-year old, soaking up every second.

As beautiful as this is, it can also make the season very lonely, especially for those that would love a child, or indeed a grandchild, of their own.

I say this because I felt that way for quite a few Christmases in the early years of our marriage. Like so many other couples, my husband and I desperately wanted a child but it just wasn’t happening for us.

I’m a person who loves Christmas, but I found those ones very lonely. I remember one in particular, waking up early on Christmas morning and it was the silence that broke me. I kept thinking, this house should be busy and loud with children opening noisy toys and the sounds of laughter, and yet it was quiet, so very quiet. As much as I tried to keep it together, I heaved crying that Christmas morning, I really was at a stage where I was heartbroken.

And then a few months later, it happened. After five years of trying, and tests, and investigations, and IVF, I became pregnant. And would you believe, I was scheduled to be induced just after Christmas Day.

Christmas baby

On a cold December afternoon she arrived – my gorgeous girl, my perfect Christmas baby.

After all the necessary newborn checks were complete, they cleaned us both up, ready to bring us to the ward. They handed me my little bundle all wrapped up in blankets and a hat and the hospital bed was wheeled out of the labour room.

I’ll never forget it, all along the corridor was a string of twinkly lights hanging from the ceiling. Under a golden glow, I looked down at my brand-new beautiful baby and I thought to myself, ‘this is the best Christmas moment of my life’.

That little baby will turn five this week and, while I know most children love this time of year, Molly looks at the lights and tree with a special sense of wonder – she really was born to be a Christmas baby.

So if you are a couple waiting on that precious baby and you’re finding this year particularly tough, I hope my story offers a glimmer of hope, that maybe next Christmas, things will be different. And if your arms are empty following the loss of a very precious child or there is an empty seat at the table, please be gentle and kind to yourself and each other – this time of year can be incredibly tough.

To you and your family, and all of our beautiful little readers, we wish you a very Happy Christmas.