Evelyn O'Rourke: Miracles do happen

Wait until I show you a picture of the boys,” beams Evelyn O’Rourke as we enjoy a cup of tea in the RTÉ canteen. She whips out the phone and photos of her young sons Oisín (five) and Ross (four) fill the screen. A big smile is plastered on Oisín’s adorable face as he plays on his scooter in the park. And then there is Ross, Evelyn’s youngest son, happy, healthy and full of life, the boy who is the focus of her bestselling book Dear Ross.

“Wasn’t he totally worth it,” smiles Evelyn proudly.

This is a comment any mother would make, but for Evelyn and her husband John McMahon the words have more meaning. Ross is a little fighter, Evelyn’s secret weapon in what has been the biggest battle of her life.

“Looking back now, it was an absolute rollercoaster,” says the lady who is familiar to many for her hours on air with the late Gerry Ryan. However, when the man himself signed off from the Ryanline for the last time, she was at home on maternity leave with Oisín.

“The on-air personality and show disappeared, but also a man that I loved working with for eight years was gone. It was devastating. Then, just a few weeks later, I found out we were pregnant. It was a complete surprise, but we were elated.”

Rollercoaster ride

Dealing with such highs and lows in a short space of time is a challenge, but the ultimate shock was still to come. Just four days later, Evelyn was diagnosed with breast cancer.

“Four days later,” she exhales, like she still doesn’t believe it herself. “You know when people hear that and read what we went through, they say: ‘Wow, you’re so brave.’ And it’s an extremely kind thing to say. I would probably say the same if it was someone else’s story, but I never wanted to be brave.”

“Other people do the brave thing. I was having a very nice life, thanks very much, and I had no interest in being brave, but suddenly on a Friday you get handed this news.”

But the most amazing part was yet to come as Evelyn learned that it was possible to have chemotherapy while pregnant, without affecting the baby.

“This was simply mind blowing to me. I just assumed I would have treatment after the baby was born. But when Professor John Crown in St Vincent’s said it was possible, we decided that was our course, our north star to follow. I’d like to say it was a logical decision, but, the truth is, the decision was beyond me. Mother Nature took over and I wanted this baby so badly.”

Healthy and happy

Despite months of chemotherapy, exhaustion, fear and doubt, baby Ross was born four years ago.

“He was happy, healthy and perfect,” says Evelyn.

In the years since his birth, she has tracked this journey in her uniquely honest and raw book. Since Dear Ross was launched in 2014, and as Evelyn gets set to open the Ennis book festival, she tells Irish Country Living that, upon reflection, much of the reason she wrote the book was for her own healing.

“Although I absolutely love books and it’s part of my job on RTÉ Radio One, I hadn’t planned to write a book. I started out simply writing letters to Ross to explain what had happened while it was still fresh in my head. It was such a big responsibility going ahead with the pregnancy and treatment, and I knew I would always have to look him in the eye and say I said yes to it all because we wanted you so badly. But this book wasn’t just for Ross and Oisín.”

A form of therapy

“I was worried because people kept saying I was handling everything so well. I’m not stupid and I know the importance of mental health. I had two fantastic but demanding babies and you need all your resources to stay calm. I had a responsibility to them and if I didn’t deal with this, I was afraid that one day it would all come crashing down and I’d be found sobbing in the supermarket aisle. It was part therapy for me.”

So has it helped?

“You know, there was nothing good about that whole experience of cancer and I’m not saying I’m glad it happened. It was horrific and horrendous but it happened, so I do have to look back and say OK, what came from that? And the one thing is that you know that nothing will ever bother you as much anymore. You develop a huge confidence in your marriage because you’ve been through the absolute wars together. We all have depths of courage. We just don’t know we have it until you want something bad enough. For me, that was my boys.”

Ready to talk

The past year since the book was published has also helped.

“I didn’t publish the book until I was ready to talk about it. But by the time it came out, I was so positive and, most importantly, Ross was three years old and perfect. I was excited to give people this amazing news that you could get this ground-breaking treatment while you’re pregnant. Also, I’m hugely passionate about the work I do with ICORG (the All Ireland Cooperative Oncology Research Group) and I really wanted to get that message out there.”

Since Dear Ross has hit the bestseller list, the writing bug has taken hold of Evelyn who is now in the middle of her first fiction novel.

“It’s scary,” she laughs. “With Dear Ross I had the story to tell. Now it’s not so structured, but great fun. The book is about a big Irish family saga and I hope it includes stuff I learned and saw during my illness, but I don’t want to say anything more because I don’t want to jinx myself.”

No matter how many books she writes though, Dear Ross will always have a special place in her heart.

“John got me a beautiful hardback copy for my birthday and that will be the one we’ll give the boys to read. But you know boys are funny, they might never read it. I’m sure, in 30 years’ time, their wives will read it and they’ll love it or their teenage girlfriends will just adore the intensity of it all. But now that it’s all behind us, I just joke with John that I have it there so when they are moody teenagers I can wave the book in front of them teasing: ‘Look what Mommy did for you.’”

Evelyn O’Rourke will open the Ennis Book Festival and will speak with Joseph O’Connor about the 10 books you should read. For more info, visit www.ennisbookclubfestival.com