I don’t have much hair, but if I did, I would definitely have had it torn out over the past few days. I had a cow calf at 5.30am last Thursday morning.

She calved herself and within 20 minutes the calf was on its feet and nosing around the cow looking for a feed.

I decided to let nature take its course and leave them to their own devices. All cows are bolused this year and thankfully, so far, most calves that were born themselves were up and sucking within half an hour, so I was hoping for the same outcome with this lady, but it was not to be.

Before I headed to the yard, less than two hours later, I decided to check out my new toy and replay the camera to see what had been happening in my absence.

The calf had spent 40 minutes nosing round the cow and although it was impossible to see for sure from the angle they were standing at, it looked like the new arrival had her belly filled.

Empty belly

Off I went happy as Larry to check out proceedings in person. Unfortunately, when I got to the yard it became all too apparent that the cow still had a full bag of milk and the calf’s belly was empty.

No big deal I thought. I milked the cow and, as I was under pressure for time and the calf seemed to have no interest in sucking a bottle, I stomach-tubed two litres of colostrum into her.

Thinking I had a great job done and that the calf would get up and suck the cow in her own time, I headed off to work.

However, my optimism was unfounded. I came home from work that evening and played back the camera again.

Although my new friend had got up and moved around the pen, she never managed to latch on for a feed.

Cow TV

I’ve seen it on many an occasion; just one of those dopey calves.

It’s like if they don’t manage to find the teat in the first couple of hours, especially after putting in a bit of effort, they say feck this and give up.

Three days I spent messing about with her. I had to tube her first four feeds of colostrum into her, then through pure perseverance and stubbornness and a bit of sugar I managed to get her to suck the cow.

I had to do this a few times, but as I’ve been watching her on what my five-year-old daughter calls “cow TV” she seems to have gotten the hang of it now herself. It’s amazing how leaving something just that little bit too long can cause so much hassle.

If I had gone over to the yard an hour earlier the morning she was born and put the teat in her mouth when she was nosing around the cow, I would have saved myself a lot of work!

But sure, if they all got up and sucked themselves there’d be no craic in it. Yes, that is sarcasm!

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