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I was chatting to a neighbour recently and I mentioned my age. “Well, you look great for it,” was the response.
I know that’s meant as a compliment, but I wonder why we think people should look a certain way at a certain age. What do we see when we think of a 60-year-old? How many wrinkles do we think a 70-year-old should have? Why do we equate age with a certain look or style? We’ve all heard the expression – ‘Mutton dressed up as lamb’ – when a woman wears what society deems to be clothes for younger people.
Who decides at what age men and women should start wearing particular clothes? Do we need to change our wardrobe every birthday?
Ageism exists for both the young and the old, but as I’m apparently ‘looking great for my age’, I’ll focus on older people.
Many of the stereotypes about older people involve being technologically inept, forgetful and just not capable of understanding the modern world. There is a radio ad about an older person ordering online that makes me cringe. It is, in my opinion, very patronising and speaks to the older person as if they were a child.
There is a radio ad about an older person ordering online that makes me cringe. It is, in my opinion, very patronising and speaks to the older person as if they were a child.
Skills
I know many older people don’t have the same IT skills as younger people, but that’s down to the technology not being around when they were in school rather than a lack of intelligence.
We all need to learn new skills at every age, but teaching should be with respect and not with an air of ‘I’m helping the poor old dear set up her phone’. So many aspects of our lives are now informed by technology – we all deserve the training to be able to utilise it.
Employment and retirement are also big areas where many experience ageism. A few years ago, I was turned down for a job that I knew I was fully qualified for. I took the offer of contacting HR for feedback. After beating around the bush, he told me that I should redo my CV and omit my earlier education. As I had gone back to college when I was 40, if I put that on my CV rather than listing my earlier education, those reading it would assume I was in my 20s while doing the course.
Employers can’t ask your age, but they can work it out from when you were in school, and – in this case, at least – they had decided I was too old for the job.
Many also object to mandatory retirement. Now, while many can’t wait for retirement (and, in fact, increasing numbers are choosing to take it early), making it mandatory at a certain age is very indiscriminate. What happens at midnight when you turn 65 or 66? Does your brain stop working? Is all your experience and expertise no longer useful or valuable? I’m not denying there can be physical aspects in some jobs that can be more difficult as our bodies age, but society should not assume everyone needs to retire in their mid-60s.
Public discourse in relation to housing is frequently ageist. There are constant calls for older people to give up their homes and move into more “appropriate” housing. Just as there are older people who would gladly sell their large house now that their children have left, there are those that want to stay in the home they built and paid for over a lifetime.
There are many excellent social housing schemes for older people which provide additional services on-site. These are a great support and allow people with different needs to remain living in their home. But the assumption that all older people should be herded into such developments – and their homes made available to younger people to solve the housing crisis – is both simplistic and ageist. Imagine the excitement of a young couple getting the keys to their new home and being told in 40 years’ time (just when you’ve paid off the mortgage) that you have to move out.
I’ll finish my rant by reminding everyone that, as per Prof Niall Moyna – our chronological age and biological age don’t always match.
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