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It’s important to always remember the presence and value of love in our lives. Quite often when you’ve been loving someone your entire life, there is a tendency to take that love for granted.
Sometimes I actually have to make myself stop to look at my life and my family. I look at my children and try to see them as they are, without the veil of how I would like them to be, act or behave. It takes a little thinking about and a little concentration to really see them as they are and then my heart just overflows with love for them.
Other times, we’re late for school and we’re rushing out the door and I’m giving out to them because every single day it seems like news to them that they need to pack their lunch and/or bring their schoolbag! But that’s life for every household. We often lose sight of the presence of love in our lives and that’s OK; so long as we remember to regularly pause and notice the preciousness of the love we have in our lives.
I think you’ll agree that our children are easy for us to feel unconditional love towards. But what about the people who aren’t our flesh and blood, our husbands and wives for example? Is it easy to stop and look and be bowled over with love for your other half?
There is no relationship that is flawless for there is no person alive who is flawless, so let’s let that sit with you now for a moment
Do you ever find the little quirk that you once found attractive in them is now the single most annoying thing about them? This happens, this too is life. Every healthy relationship grows and changes. There is no relationship that is flawless for there is no person alive who is flawless, so let’s let that sit with you now for a moment. Now let’s try to see our spouse as they are, without your veil of how you would like them to be. Really look at or think about them and pick one thing you love or at least like about your partner. Say to yourself, “I really like how he/she makes people smile”, “I really like just sitting here with him/her”, “I really like his/her company”, or maybe even “I can’t say why, but I just really like him/her”. Let yourself feel that about your spouse.
The next step might be to let them know your loving thought about them. You don’t have to do it straight away, but it’d be no harm if you did. If you find it’s difficult to say how you really feel to someone you’ve been in a long-term relationship with or if you simply don’t know where to start, then how about simply leaving them a little loving note.
Take a chance, be brave and spread your love around, just love for love’s sake
It doesn’t have to be pledging your undying love or anything, just maybe: “I’m out for a walk, I won’t be too long, I hope you had a good day. See you when I get back x.” Or likewise with a text: “Mind yourself out there today, see you later love x.” Now, initially it might seem weird and awkward for both the sender and the receiver, but give it some time and stay with it.
As you have heard me say before, if you change nothing, nothing changes. You know it only takes one loving person to bring more love and joy into a home.
So take a chance, be brave and spread your love around, just love for love’s sake. While you’re on this love buzz, do something you love to do. People have such a capacity for love. We don’t need to limit ourselves to hearing “I love you”. We can say: “I love you.” We can say: “I love this! I love dance, I love music, l love knitting, I love cooking, I love caring for my family, I love taking care of livestock.” Think about all the love you have in your life. No life is loveless, even if no one ever says to you: “You know I love you.”
If you really want to challenge yourself in the love game, any time you pass a mirror, look yourself square in the eye and say to yourself: “ I love you.”
That’s very difficult initially and it may give you some insight into how difficult it can be for some people to say those three small words to another person. When you get to feeling comfortable saying “I love you” to yourself, you can interchange the phrases with: “I am loved”; “I am loveable”; “I give and receive love freely.” Then start spreading that love around like 10-10-20.
Something to Ponder
There’s a difference between verbalising love and expressing love and unless you’re starring in a Hollywood movie, one isn’t more worthy than the other. In actual fact, it is thought that up to 93% of human communication is non-verbal*. Fifty-five per cent is through body language, 38% through the tone of voice and only a mere 7% through the actual spoken word. Isn’t that astonishing? So start to show the people in your life you love them and be ready to receive that love; don’t just rely on your ears though.
*According to Dr. Albert Mehrabian.
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