Nothing like a good slogan to promote your wares

It’s one of those advertising slogans that we’re all familiar with but haven’t the foggiest idea as to what it actually means. ‘‘Vorsprung durch technik’’ has been part of Audi’s advertising campaigns since 1982 and apparently it means ‘‘progress through technology’’. Indeed, how could we be so stupid? And Volkswagen has followed with a similar catchy German slogan, with the strapline ‘‘das auto’’ featuring on their ads. It simply means ‘‘the car’’. Of course, you could have guessed that. And speaking of which, my son is looking for ‘‘das auto’’ and nothing less than a Golf will do. Oh, the corrupting power of advertising on young minds.

Now fellow German manufacturer, Fendt, has followed the automotive lead and come up with its own catchphrase – ‘‘wer Fendt fährt führt’’. I don’t think it’s particularly easy to guess what this means in English. And despite what you might think, it has nothing whatsoever to do with flatulence or, indeed, human exhaust gas recirculation – it’s nothing rude like that. It simply means ‘‘leaders drive Fendt’’. Maybe they do in Germany, but it’s a bit of a sweeping generalisation.

I mean, I’ve driven a Fendt for the last 30 years but the Pied Piper himself would have more leadership qualities than I do. And the Nuffield scholarship interviewing panel thought likewise, when I meekly sat in front of them about 10 years ago. ‘‘Nice fellow,’’ they said, ‘‘but leadership? Nah, forget it’’. That quickly put paid to my dreamy world tour plans. Despite this obvious lack of leadership, no one has told me that I’m a disgrace to the Fendt brand or that I should be relegated to a John Deere.

Advertising

Nonetheless, the idea of having a slogan in the mother tongue seems to be smart and effective advertising. Maybe our own machinery manufacturers should get in on the act – as Gaeilge, you understand.

An international company like Keenan Systems could think about adopting an Irish slogan for their flagship Mech Fibre 400 feeder wagon.

Following the VW example of something short and catchy, I’d suggest ‘‘an tainmhí’’, which means ‘‘the beast’’. It could go viral. You’d have German and French farmers using the cúpla focal, which could only be a good thing. It might even help them relate to big Phil Hogan.

And world-class McHale might go with a slogan a bit longer, like ‘‘Níl aon inneall mar inneall McHale’’. You’d have probably guessed this one – it translates as ‘‘there’s no machine like a McHale machine’’. And Samco, which sells plastic-laying maize planters all over the world, could run with ‘‘Tá sé níos teolai faoir gclúdach’’, which is trickier and means ‘‘it’s cosier under the covers’’.

Industry-leading pickup hitch manufacturer Dromone Engineering could think about ‘‘Píoc suas me sul nimionn to’’, which translates loosely as ‘‘pick me up before you go-go’’ (with apologies to pop group Wham).

The EU might even give grants for advertising in the native language – maybe that’s why the Germans are at it. In September sunshine, the 2014 harvest came to a close exactly two months after it had begun on 17 July. And it was a glorious finale to an excellent harvest. The spring rape did exceptionally well at 1.50t/acre at under 12% moisture. The beans had looked well all year but, like rape, you can never tell with them until they’re cut. With an average yield of 2.95t/acre at under 20% moisture, it was a fitting end to a memorable harvest. Shame about the prices, though.