As the lockdown continues across Ireland, families are being continually urged not to leave their homes. Some people see it as a welcome break from the daily commute and a chance to spend quality time with their children. For others, it’s their worst nightmare.

According to CEO of Safe Ireland Sharon O’Halloran, one in three women and one in seven men suffer from domestic abuse in Ireland according to Cosc, The National Office for the Prevention of Domestic, Sexual and Gender-based Violence.

The concern is that people no longer have the space to make the call

While recorded incidences of abuse increased in China and the UK during the lockdown, there has been no increase in calls to support services in Ireland.

Sharon O’Halloran said: “The concern is that people no longer have the space to make the call. What we’re seeing around the country is varied – some helplines are busier, but the majority are quiet, and that’s our worry, because when a person is in lockdown with their abuser 24/7, there are very few windows of opportunity to seek support. We think that that’s being reflected around the country right now, and that’s of grave concern for us.”

We’re asking people to phone friends and check in on neighbours

In fact, the levels of calls to support services has fallen, compared with average numbers. “What we’re asking from the community is to be that voice,” says Sharon. “We’re asking people to phone friends and check in on neighbours, whatever way you can. If you hear anything, call the gardaí. Our vision is to build Ireland as the safest country in the world for women, children and men and for that to happen, we all have a role to play.”

Coercive control

Coercive control became a criminal offence in Ireland in 2019, and this was seen as a major breakthrough in domestic violence legislation. Coercive control is a persistent pattern of controlling and threatening behaviour and includes all or some forms of domestic abuse. This can be emotional, physical, financial or sexual abuse, including threats. “It’s a silent abuse, a psychological warfare,” says CEO of Men’s Aid and the founder of Coercive Control Ireland Katherina Bentley.

Men are often subject to coercive control by their partner who may threaten a father’s access to their children

Just 5% of abused men report their problems and for Katherina, that number is far too low. One of the biggest concerns for men is parental alienation. Men are often subject to coercive control by their partner who may threaten a father’s access to their children.

However, Katherina highlights that it can happen to men and women from all walks of life.

“LGBT or travelling communities and others can suffer at the hands of a violent partner.”

Since lockdown began, we have been talking to a number of men who are currently sleeping in their cars

According to Katherina, men tend to seek more practical advice, in terms of law, court services, paperwork and their rights.

The biggest issue for men in an abusive situation is that there are no “safe beds” available to them in Ireland.

“Since lockdown began, we have been talking to a number of men who are currently sleeping in their cars,” she adds.

Andrea McDermott has worked on the front line for both women and men’s domestic abuse support services and currently work’s for Men’s Aid.

“When it comes to domestic violence, it’s just as humiliating for women as it is for men. The coping mechanisms are the same – be it alcohol or drugs – but that feeling of walking on eggshells is consistently the same.”

One of the biggest differences that Andrea finds is that men don’t have the same level of support.

“When women are brave enough to flee their situation, they are able to take their children and find a refuge, if one is available, whereas men don’t have that option.”

Andrea points out that many calls come from an older generation and those are more often than not, farmers.

“A lot of farmers who have spent their life on the land and have retired to the home, spent a lot more time now with their partner which they may not have done before.

“They would have escaped to the farm away from the violence, but when they get older and can’t do the same jobs, they are in the house more, and they find that the violence escalates.”

Domestic violence does not always have to be between partners. Andrea says that there is a lot of domestic incidences between siblings who may not have married and are both now living on the home farm and many incidences occur due to rows over land and ownership or one sibling having more control.

Help available

It is important to note that there is light at the end of this tunnel, there is hope, there is help. According to An Garda Síochána there are currently 245 garda members and staff allocated to the Garda National Protective Services Bureau (GNPSB) and 15 Divisional Protective Services Units (DPSU) nationally to investigate domestic abuse and wider issues.

I wish to assure those experiencing such abuse that An Garda Síochána are available and willing to assist you

The GNPSB is overseeing the implementation of Operation Faoisimh, a proactive initiative, commencing as part of An Garda Síochána’s community engagement response to COVID-19, designed to ensure victims of domestic abuse are supported and protected in this extraordinary time.

“I am conscious and aware that victims of domestic abuse can feel afraid and concerned at this time and I wish to assure those experiencing such abuse that An Garda Síochána are available and willing to assist you,” said detective chief superintendent Declan Daly, GNPSB.

“The COVID-19 outbreak has not diminished our service and we are committed to your protection.

“If you are a victim of abuse or you know of a family member or friend who is a victim of such abuse, that information is important to us and I ask that you make contact with An Garda Síochána.”

There is advice for those who wish to leave the relationship including guidance on documentation such as passportS

All courts are remaining open throughout the current lockdown and the support services such as Safe Ireland and Men’s Aid can provide you with everything you need to know including; protection and safety orders, applications for barring orders, access to children, custody and guardianship.

There is advice for those who wish to leave the relationship including guidance on documentation such as passports.

Equally, for those who wish to remain in the relationship (a more frequent occurrence with men), non-judgemental advice can be given on safety planning in the home.

According to the Department of Justice the COVID-19 restrictions on movement do not apply to a person escaping from a risk of harm or seeking to access essential services, in other words, the 2km rule will not apply.

The Department of Justice has launched a new media campaign aimed a victims of domestic abuse.

The adverts are being aired on television, radio and across social media platforms reminding victims that: “If your home isn’t safe, support is still here.”

They also act as a reminder to others that if you know someone that may be suffering from abuse, use your voice to report it. All calls will be taken very seriously and remember, you are not alone.

List of services

Women’s Aid

Helpline: 1800 341 900

Text: 087-959 7080

Web: www.womensaid.ie

Email: helpline@womensaid.ie

Men’s Aid

Helpline: 01-554 3811

Website: www.mensaid.ie

Email: hello@mensaid.ie

Safe Ireland

National helpline: 1800 341 900