Harry Ryan is a very special child – for more reasons than one. He was so desperately wanted by his parents Eimear, who works with Spinal Injuries Ireland as a community outreach officer, and David, a contractor and tillage farmer in Jenkinstown, Co Kilkenny. But Harry didn’t come to them easily.
Like so many couples, getting pregnant was not straightforward, and Eimear and David spent two years eliminating various reasons as to why it wasn’t happening for them.
At age 36 and 35, they realised that IVF was on the cards, and the couple began the process of preparing themselves for all that comes with treatment. Eimear took fertility drugs, had a healthy lifestyle, ate well and exercised. David lived an active, outdoorsy lifestyle on the farm and he played sports. There was no obvious reason as to why it shouldn’t “just happen”.
They secured the expertise of a good fertility doctor and looked towards IVF. However, just as they were about to embark on the invasive process of injecting Eimear with even more fertility drugs, they discovered that, by some small miracle, Eimear was pregnant.
To this day, they are baffled as to how it happened, as they had been given little hope by the doctors to date, without intervention. But something had come good and they were naturally pregnant; albeit with some €1,000-worth of fertility drugs redundant at the bottom of their fridge!
“To say we were ecstatic is an understatement,” says Eimear. “It was so unexpected and so surprising. We felt so lucky when Harry was born on 22 May 2014.”
But from the moment he was born, Eimear knew something wasn’t right. The nurses and doctors were in and out, and Harry was being examined more than what would normally be necessary. Finally, a doctor came to them and told them that he thought Harry may have what’s known as Trisomy 21 (Down’s syndrome).
Eimear remembers: “It was a huge shock to both of us. We were so devastated. It was life-changing. We were sad – both of us were so sad for us and for Harry. We were disappointed, as the plans we had made for Harry would have to change now. We were angry because what we had hoped for was different and we just didn’t know what to do with what we had been dealt. We had never envisioned ourselves as parents of a child with special needs. It took the wind out of our sails.”
David was equally shattered. “I think we went through every stage of grief. Being in the hospital was awful, and things did begin to improve once we got Harry home to his own house. But it was a very stressful time for both of us. You go into shock in a way and have to come out of it bit by bit.
“I think we accepted Harry’s diagnosis very quickly, and we began to think about how we were going to deal with it almost immediately. We adored him from the moment he was born, and it’s just unfortunate that he has this, but he has it and we are coping with it – pretty well I think too.”
Harry is an amazing child. He has a glint in his eye and loves nothing more than to be in the middle of everyone. David still hopes he will play some sport and maybe help out on the farm.
“Our dreams for Harry have had to change. Being a farmer, I would have hoped, like my dad did, that my son would take over the farm. I would love him to ride horses, like I did growing up, and compete in the shows around the country, and I know my dad is only waiting for Harry to be old enough to have a pony.
“At the end of the day, Harry’s happiness is the most important thing to us and, once he reaches his own potential in life, that’s all we can hope for.”
Eimear is the main caregiver, particularly in the summer when David can be out on a tractor from dawn until dusk. Working as a contractor and managing his own farm takes its toll. However, he makes up for it in the winter, when the farm work is less pressurised.
Eimear works three days a week in a job that requires lots of her energy – and most of all her positive, bubbly personality, visiting people with a spinal cord injury in their homes around the south east counties and Wicklow to offer support in their rehabilitation.
“I absolutely love my job, and it certainly puts things into perspective for me. Some people are living in very difficult situations following tragic accidents, and I feel very lucky to have my husband and little baby at home and all of us are healthy and well.
“We have seen a lot of sickness in the family in recent years with David’s mam, Maud, diagnosed with pancreatic cancer back in 2011. Sadly, after fighting the illness with all she had for three years, she lost her fight just last February and this has been devastating for all of the family.”
Harry is lucky that he does not have congenital heart disease, as is common in children with Down’s syndrome. However, he has some hearing loss and he needs physiotherapy because of low muscle tone.
“At this point of Harry’s life, I think it would be very hard for me to work full-time,” says Eimear. “I have him at medical appointments every single week and I notice that, as he gets older, he needs more intervention. He is not walking yet, although he is getting around on his hands and knees quite well. His speech is also likely to be delayed as a result of the hearing loss, which is disappointing, as speech is his window to the world.”
support network
Harry has come into their lives and changed their worlds for the better, but of course parenting has its challenges at the best of times.
They are very fortunate in that they have met some lovely parents in the area whose babies were also born with Down’s syndrome, and this has been a great support network for all involved.
Eimear and David, like any other parents, don’t know what the future holds for their son. They are learning every day how to deal with this, and it can be hard.
“I want Harry to have everything everyone else has,” Eimear says. “I don’t want him to be defined by his Down’s syndrome. I want him to go to school, work, have friends, girlfriends and have an independent social life. Hopefully, he will also be streetwise enough to keep himself safe. I have a feeling he is going to be an amazing person. He has already changed our lives and our family’s lives for the better – I think the future is definitely bright for Harry.”
For David, he is grateful that his mam had the time to get to know Harry before she died.
“She loved Harry and he loved being with her during the very short time that she was around in his life. I miss my mam a lot, as she would have been a huge part of Harry’s life.
“I would always have imagined her being in our lives for our first child – she was my go-to person and she lived just across the road, so her absence is hard.
“But my dad is around, and our friends and families have been a fantastic and positive support to us – in particular, Eimear’s parents, who are there for us whenever we need help and we would be lost without them.”
But for now, Harry continues to light up the room with his cheeky grin, lifts his mam’s heart with his sideways smile and makes his daddy proud as punch as he captures the hearts of anyone that meets him.
The world is definitely a better place since Harry Ryan came along. CL
Down Syndrome
Ireland
• Down Syndrome Ireland (DSI) offers parents and families of children with Down’s syndrome a range of supports. It comprises of a professionally-staffed national office and 25 local branches servicing and supporting members across the country.• The local branches are run on a voluntary basis by members and offer a range of services, activities and supports. Branches are funded through donations and local fundraising.• The national resource team at DSI provide specialist support in the areas of early development, education, counselling, health, speech and language therapy and independence to members and the professional community connected by Down’s syndrome.• Parent Link is a voluntary support and information service for parents of new babies with Down’s syndrome. It is a service run entirely on a voluntary basis by parents who are familiar with the feelings and reactions associated with having a child with Down’s syndrome in the family. Parent Link parents will provide time, confidentiality and a listening ear for new parents. Parent Link parents receive training in communication skills from DSI’s national resource team.• A Lo-call helpline is available Monday – Friday from 9.30am – 5pm on 1890-374-374 or email info@downsyndrome.ie or see www.downsyndrome.ie. Local branch contacts are available from the website or phone the national office on 01-4266-500.
Harry Ryan is a very special child – for more reasons than one. He was so desperately wanted by his parents Eimear, who works with Spinal Injuries Ireland as a community outreach officer, and David, a contractor and tillage farmer in Jenkinstown, Co Kilkenny. But Harry didn’t come to them easily.
Like so many couples, getting pregnant was not straightforward, and Eimear and David spent two years eliminating various reasons as to why it wasn’t happening for them.
At age 36 and 35, they realised that IVF was on the cards, and the couple began the process of preparing themselves for all that comes with treatment. Eimear took fertility drugs, had a healthy lifestyle, ate well and exercised. David lived an active, outdoorsy lifestyle on the farm and he played sports. There was no obvious reason as to why it shouldn’t “just happen”.
They secured the expertise of a good fertility doctor and looked towards IVF. However, just as they were about to embark on the invasive process of injecting Eimear with even more fertility drugs, they discovered that, by some small miracle, Eimear was pregnant.
To this day, they are baffled as to how it happened, as they had been given little hope by the doctors to date, without intervention. But something had come good and they were naturally pregnant; albeit with some €1,000-worth of fertility drugs redundant at the bottom of their fridge!
“To say we were ecstatic is an understatement,” says Eimear. “It was so unexpected and so surprising. We felt so lucky when Harry was born on 22 May 2014.”
But from the moment he was born, Eimear knew something wasn’t right. The nurses and doctors were in and out, and Harry was being examined more than what would normally be necessary. Finally, a doctor came to them and told them that he thought Harry may have what’s known as Trisomy 21 (Down’s syndrome).
Eimear remembers: “It was a huge shock to both of us. We were so devastated. It was life-changing. We were sad – both of us were so sad for us and for Harry. We were disappointed, as the plans we had made for Harry would have to change now. We were angry because what we had hoped for was different and we just didn’t know what to do with what we had been dealt. We had never envisioned ourselves as parents of a child with special needs. It took the wind out of our sails.”
David was equally shattered. “I think we went through every stage of grief. Being in the hospital was awful, and things did begin to improve once we got Harry home to his own house. But it was a very stressful time for both of us. You go into shock in a way and have to come out of it bit by bit.
“I think we accepted Harry’s diagnosis very quickly, and we began to think about how we were going to deal with it almost immediately. We adored him from the moment he was born, and it’s just unfortunate that he has this, but he has it and we are coping with it – pretty well I think too.”
Harry is an amazing child. He has a glint in his eye and loves nothing more than to be in the middle of everyone. David still hopes he will play some sport and maybe help out on the farm.
“Our dreams for Harry have had to change. Being a farmer, I would have hoped, like my dad did, that my son would take over the farm. I would love him to ride horses, like I did growing up, and compete in the shows around the country, and I know my dad is only waiting for Harry to be old enough to have a pony.
“At the end of the day, Harry’s happiness is the most important thing to us and, once he reaches his own potential in life, that’s all we can hope for.”
Eimear is the main caregiver, particularly in the summer when David can be out on a tractor from dawn until dusk. Working as a contractor and managing his own farm takes its toll. However, he makes up for it in the winter, when the farm work is less pressurised.
Eimear works three days a week in a job that requires lots of her energy – and most of all her positive, bubbly personality, visiting people with a spinal cord injury in their homes around the south east counties and Wicklow to offer support in their rehabilitation.
“I absolutely love my job, and it certainly puts things into perspective for me. Some people are living in very difficult situations following tragic accidents, and I feel very lucky to have my husband and little baby at home and all of us are healthy and well.
“We have seen a lot of sickness in the family in recent years with David’s mam, Maud, diagnosed with pancreatic cancer back in 2011. Sadly, after fighting the illness with all she had for three years, she lost her fight just last February and this has been devastating for all of the family.”
Harry is lucky that he does not have congenital heart disease, as is common in children with Down’s syndrome. However, he has some hearing loss and he needs physiotherapy because of low muscle tone.
“At this point of Harry’s life, I think it would be very hard for me to work full-time,” says Eimear. “I have him at medical appointments every single week and I notice that, as he gets older, he needs more intervention. He is not walking yet, although he is getting around on his hands and knees quite well. His speech is also likely to be delayed as a result of the hearing loss, which is disappointing, as speech is his window to the world.”
support network
Harry has come into their lives and changed their worlds for the better, but of course parenting has its challenges at the best of times.
They are very fortunate in that they have met some lovely parents in the area whose babies were also born with Down’s syndrome, and this has been a great support network for all involved.
Eimear and David, like any other parents, don’t know what the future holds for their son. They are learning every day how to deal with this, and it can be hard.
“I want Harry to have everything everyone else has,” Eimear says. “I don’t want him to be defined by his Down’s syndrome. I want him to go to school, work, have friends, girlfriends and have an independent social life. Hopefully, he will also be streetwise enough to keep himself safe. I have a feeling he is going to be an amazing person. He has already changed our lives and our family’s lives for the better – I think the future is definitely bright for Harry.”
For David, he is grateful that his mam had the time to get to know Harry before she died.
“She loved Harry and he loved being with her during the very short time that she was around in his life. I miss my mam a lot, as she would have been a huge part of Harry’s life.
“I would always have imagined her being in our lives for our first child – she was my go-to person and she lived just across the road, so her absence is hard.
“But my dad is around, and our friends and families have been a fantastic and positive support to us – in particular, Eimear’s parents, who are there for us whenever we need help and we would be lost without them.”
But for now, Harry continues to light up the room with his cheeky grin, lifts his mam’s heart with his sideways smile and makes his daddy proud as punch as he captures the hearts of anyone that meets him.
The world is definitely a better place since Harry Ryan came along. CL
Down Syndrome
Ireland
• Down Syndrome Ireland (DSI) offers parents and families of children with Down’s syndrome a range of supports. It comprises of a professionally-staffed national office and 25 local branches servicing and supporting members across the country.• The local branches are run on a voluntary basis by members and offer a range of services, activities and supports. Branches are funded through donations and local fundraising.• The national resource team at DSI provide specialist support in the areas of early development, education, counselling, health, speech and language therapy and independence to members and the professional community connected by Down’s syndrome.• Parent Link is a voluntary support and information service for parents of new babies with Down’s syndrome. It is a service run entirely on a voluntary basis by parents who are familiar with the feelings and reactions associated with having a child with Down’s syndrome in the family. Parent Link parents will provide time, confidentiality and a listening ear for new parents. Parent Link parents receive training in communication skills from DSI’s national resource team.• A Lo-call helpline is available Monday – Friday from 9.30am – 5pm on 1890-374-374 or email info@downsyndrome.ie or see www.downsyndrome.ie. Local branch contacts are available from the website or phone the national office on 01-4266-500. 
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