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Summer was a bit hectic and we’re finally starting to get back into our routine here at the farm. Holidays are over, jetlag has passed and the air is just that bit chillier now that we’re really getting into autumn.
But my kids? If you ask them at bedtime, they’ll tell you they’re still on holidays. That when the sun goes to bed for good; they’ll go to bed, too.
I have a confession to make (and if you read this column regularly, you likely won’t be surprised): I am not a helicopter mom.
I like safety – don’t get me wrong. Farms can be dangerous places to work and grow up. We have thick stone walls surrounding our house so the kids can’t escape. My older ones have a very clear understanding of the dangers that lie outside those walls and know that they can’t traipse around the farm without me or another adult family member.
They know, when they’re outside those walls, either helping me in the garden or picking blackberries along the lane, that if they hear a car or tractor coming, they have to run to me right away so I can keep us all at a safe distance.
As long as no one’s being hurt or in serious danger, I let them do their own thing
But other than that, I kind of let them run wild. Country kids are meant to get dirty – my kids play with the dog, make mud pies, jump in puddles and get plenty of cuts, bruises and scrapes along the way. For the most part, I let them deal with arguments themselves (they have to do that in school, anyway). As long as no one’s being hurt or in serious danger, I let them do their own thing.
Except at bedtime. Bedtime is so important to me. At 7pm, the television is off, the house is quiet, pyjamas and special blankets are distributed, teeth are brushed and stories are chosen. By 7:30pm, the kids have been read to, sung to, chatted with, hugged and kissed and they are expected to get to sleep.
The health benefits
Early bedtimes are important for small kids. If they get those 12 hours of sleep, they can function the following day at school and childcare. They can get up early enough to eat a proper breakfast.
They argue less in the morning if they’ve had a good night’s sleep. There are so many health and behavioural benefits to having a steady bedtime routine.
But let’s also be honest and say that bedtime is for the parents, too. Proper early bedtimes mean at least one to two hours of adult time in the evening.
In any case, a solid bedtime routine has made my life, and the lives of my kids, infinitely better
It means a show on Netflix and a glass of wine. For me, it means I can get articles written and school bags organised. As a farm-mammy, it means I get a bit of alone time when the kids are in bed and my husband is (usually still) farming.
On long summer evenings, I go for runs or work in my garden. In the cold winter months, I keep the fires going, make cups of tea and have hot showers (extra nice when no children are waiting for you on the other side of the bathroom door). In any case, a solid bedtime routine has made my life, and the lives of my kids, infinitely better.
A bit of a change
But now? I feel like all of our hard work gone in to maintaining the routine has gone to waste. After a summer of frivolity, longer, sunnier days and a cousin-filled holiday, bedtime is no longer an option for my wired children. The two-year-old refuses her cot altogether and now only sleeps in bed with me and my husband.
The alone time I crave is now non-existent
The other two go to “bed”, but going to sleep is another story completely. They play, laugh, fight, get out of their beds, get chased back in, and eventually pass out after a few hours.
The work I used to get done in the evenings has long gone by the wayside.
The alone time I crave is now non-existent. But I suppose this is just another chapter that goes along with having children.
There will be times when they sleep, and times when they’re wired. There will be plenty of alone time for me as they get older, and my work always gets done in the end.
Help from technology
In the meantime, I’ve paid for a child sleep app on my phone. I don’t know how social services will view this, but I’m now basically hypnotising my children to sleep.
It’s only been a few days, but so far it seems to be working.
I stick on the app, a soothing voice sings repetitive, mantra-like songs and tells sleepy stories to my children, and I hide the phone so they’re not tempted to get up and take a look.
The last few evenings have been better, and the mornings have proven to me that truly nothing can replace a good night’s sleep.
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