I think I may have New Year anxiety and I wonder if anyone else feels this way? Every year there is so much pressure put on us to reinvent ourselves and each time, I feel like I fail miserably. So I would like to do things differently for 2025, but I’m not sure where to start.

I feel like the expectations I place on myself are sometimes unrealistic, and unachievable, and I’m just setting myself up to fail from the beginning.

My question is: should I just forget making resolutions altogether? I think some of the problem is the idea of what lies ahead in the new year fills me with some discomfort and unease. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly why I’m feeling out-of-sorts?

- Anne, Co Meath

Dear reader,

You are not the first person to have anxiety at the beginning of a new year, it’s a very common issue and totally normal.

Many people feel pressure to make the upcoming year their ‘best year ever’ which can lead to crippling anxiety before the year even begins, while others are lamenting the year gone by and all the things that they didn’t achieve.

I would advise you not to make any resolutions and instead to stay focused on the present. Set a specific and realistic goal if there is something you would like to achieve. Some people use something called SMART goals, which is an acronym that you can use to guide your goal setting. To make sure your goals are clear and reachable, each one should be:

• Specific (simple, sensible, significant).

• Measurable (meaningful, motivating).

• Achievable (agreed, attainable).

• Relevant (reasonable, realistic and resourced, results-based).

• Time-bound (time-based, time limited, and time-sensitive).

Stop setting your expectations so high, try to live in the moment and enjoy.

Reader writes

I read the article (16 November) about a reader living with family while works were being done to their house and I was in a similar position 28 years ago. I completely understand where your husband is coming from.

We lived with my husband’s father while our house was being built and while he was a lovely man and easy to get on with, life as a married couple for us was not the same and I longed to get into my house to have our own privacy.

We moved in with no flooring in the entire house and no tiling of any description done but we managed and all these jobs got done and we were both so happy.

In fact, I felt we got outstanding jobs done sooner as we kept hounding the builder and we were in the house supervising. You will be retaining monies until the jobs are done so whether you are in the house or not will make no difference as regards completion of work.

I would say to this lady, go and move into your house, you don’t need everything to be perfect at the moment. In fact, don’t get overcome by trying to have your home picture perfect and everything as it should be. These are only material things and are for magazines.

Please take your husband’s opinion into consideration in this is very difficult for him as the in-law in your parent’s house. I wish you both the best together and I do hope you move in soon.

- Cavan reader