Mary Kennedy on her home truths

When it comes to telling people’s stories and reflecting the lives of those living in rural Ireland, Irish Country Living and Mary Kennedy have a common goal. Celebrating success, highlighting the importance of community spirit and showcasing Irish businesses are qualities that characterise both Nationwide and Irish Country Living. So really there couldn’t be a more perfect person to make her mark at this year’s Women & Agriculture Conference, run in association with FBD Insurance.

“There really is an overlap,” laughs Mary as we compare notes on similar interviews we have done over the years. “I love working on Nationwide. I feel that we, as well as Irish Country Living, look at people’s lives in a very positive, supportive and celebratory way. It is kind of an affirmation and it should be, because there is plenty there to affirm.

“It’s this affirmation that I really want to highlight at this year’s conference, the value and values of rural Ireland, that I really appreciate as I travel the country with Nationwide. And sometimes, I think these are taken for granted and people don’t realise the contribution they make, not just individually but together. There can be such a sense of community and connection with the surrounding area, the land and the sea – and I think it is often undervalued.”

Speaking the truth

Mary may be at the conference to boost confidence, but she also promises to give a real part of herself in her talk. And from reading her newest book, Home Thoughts from the Heart, we have no doubt she will stay true to her word.

If you were to sum up this book in one word, it’s honesty, and the comforting theme of home runs right throughout each chapter. Sitting in Mary’s sitting room, it’s a home where every item seems to tell a story.

“The armchairs in the conservatory came from my family home in Clondalkin. When my mother passed away, I just couldn’t bear for them to be thrown out so I had them re-upholstered and I love sitting on them looking out at the garden.”

There are personalised pictures of west Cork, family photos and a tea warmer of Michael D Higgins that evokes many a laugh. But really it’s the dogs Daisy and Larry that draw much of the attention.

“Look at the cushions on the sofa, all the upholstery is ripped from them going mental at the postman.”

Although her four children have now all left home, their presence can be felt everywhere.

“The house is quite big for me now. And I talked about selling it but they all freaked out, saying it was their family home. We moved here in 2003 after my marriage broke up and it has lots of special memories. I love this house, I was actually friends with the people who lived here before and I said if they were ever going to sell it to let me know. I couldn’t believe it when it became ours. It is just a very nice place to be. I feel comfortable, it is a sanctuary and a bit of an oasis. I just love the garden and I love that it is homely.”

Gardening and cooking

It also reflects Mary’s two passion in life: gardening and cooking.

“I say in the book that, for me, cooking is an expression of my love for my family, and I think it really is. I do very simple stuff, nothing fancy. I am a big fan of one-pot wonders. Recently I had a gathering here for my birthday with all the kids and I did a baked salmon. Into the over it went for an hour, back out again and placed straight on the table so everyone can help themselves.

“Then I did an apple crumble because my editor in RTÉ had a big bag of cooking apples from his back garden and that is the kind of thing I love. It is lovely to just have people sitting down to break bread together. I mean, let’s go back to the old.”

This summer the bread was broken out in the back garden, an oasis of calm, a labour of love for Mary.

“Gardening – it’s very satisfying and it’s not cerebral. You are using your hands, making something. It is a little more difficult now as I get older, getting up and down. It is not getting down that is the problem, it is getting back up, but one of my sons now cuts the grass and I would strim, weed and plant. There is great joy in planting. Even now there is still colour left in the garden and it will be pansies next.”

Mary says her home is her sanctuary and she needed this in the last year when life became just a bit much.

“You know, this is also something I want to discuss at the conference, being honest about what is really going on in our lives. In one of my previous books, I spoke about the menopause. I remember someone saying: ‘I can’t believe you did that.’ But it’s life, it happens. I replied: ‘What is the alternative? It’s death. Would you prefer that?’ So yes, in my books I discuss the nice things in my life – my home, my love of cooking, my gardening – because people relate to those things.

“But I also talk about the other stuff that goes on behind closed doors, and last year I really did suffer from serious burnout. I didn’t realise it was burnout, not at the start. I did know something was wrong though. My daughter had just gotten married, then we were straight into Christmas, which was all very lovely and enjoyable. Then in the new year, I was travelling across the country and abroad for work and it was all go, go, go. One morning, I was listening to a young women being interviewed by Ryan Tubridy on the radio, and it just struck a chord. What she was saying was exactly how I felt, like a flat battery, overwhelmed, not in control.”

Taking a break

“I realised I needed to stop, I needed a break, because it can be a quick and spiralling path to depression. I immediately took two weeks off from work and I just slowed down. I stayed at home, I minded myself. Essentially, I recharged the batteries.

“And some people may feel that they can’t do that but it is so very important. Now my policy is to put away the phone. Also I don’t say yes all the time now, because I used to. I like doing things for people who ask me, because I really appreciate that these are the people doing the heavy lifting, if it is a charity or something. But you know you have to mind your own health as well.

“I feel fine now. I feel in control but I continue to go to a counsellor once a month even if I do feel good. I find it very grounding.

“We can all get great help and support from family and friends, but sometimes it is nice to get advice from somebody who has a cold eye.”

So when it comes to the Women & Agriculture Conference, Mary says she won’t be afraid to speak the truth.

“A lot of people say to me: ‘Oh my goodness, you are the exact same as you are on the telly,’ and I hope so because I don’t want to be any different on the television to the way I am when I am not on it.”

We are confident that’s the Mary people will meet at the conference.