This Operation Transformation is the bane of my life. I’ll keep at the diet and exercise for the duration of the programme, but I’m not sure about the long term. It’s too much effort, and life is short enough. There’s no doubt but the best things in the world are either illegal or fattening.

This programme operates like an army camp. We gather at the community hall at half six every Monday evening for confession and a weigh-in. Confession is a bit like going to the priest in the old days: you’re mainly confessing sins of the flesh – and all of us “leaders” have plenty of flesh to cause us trouble.