With the recent spell of good weather, the storms of winter 2017 into spring 2018 may now be but a distant memory; which is precisely the thread of my piece this month.
The “weather” of our minds and our emotions – just like the environmental conditions which surround us – have a few things in common.
Firstly, there is little we can do about the weather, only learn how to live with it. We can’t change it or we can’t deny it’s raining when it’s raining. We can, however, learn to be patient and remind ourselves that things will change. It will not be this dull, damp and dreary forever. The same is true for our emotions.
Secondly, the weather we are experiencing may not be the weather we were expecting or desiring, but it is the weather we have, so in the midst of a challenging time, we can choose to remind ourselves that we have had stormy days before which we navigated and we have also had sunny days before and we will have them again. This is also true for our emotional state.
Thirdly, we realise that we are not the rain, but we can feel and see the rain, and the rain will come and go throughout our lives. So we try to accept the rainy days as we do the sunny days. We remember that stormy, sunny, happy or sad are all, by their very nature, impermanent states, which are integral parts of this human experience and, as we know, anything which is impermanent shall pass.
RAIN exercise
R: Recognise the feeling that you are experiencing. Give the feeling a name if you can (it could even be to do with the weather – stormy, cloudy, bright, fine, overcast etc). Identifying the feeling can take its power away.A: Allow the experience to be there, just as it is. This can be tricky, so be gentle with yourself. Remember you don’t have to fix it or even know what to do with the feeling, just try to be with it, turn towards it. I: Investigate the feeling with kindness. How does it feel in the body? Where do you feel it most strongly? What types of thoughts accompany this emotion? Remember, you don’t need to know what to do with this emotion, so there’s no pressure on you to have to know what to do. N: Non-identification. Remember this emotion is not who you are, it’s a feeling you are experiencing and it will go away with time. You may be feeling angry but you are not anger. Sadness may be washing over you, but much like a rain shower, it will move along. It too will pass.When difficult feelings and emotions arise in us, we might need to go through the whole RAIN process to work through the feelings, or it might be enough to do one or two of the steps. The more practice you have working through each step, the more skilled you will become at understanding what you need to do to work through the difficulty.
Physical Exercise Of The month
Do something that helps us feel lighter, letting go… letting be. Standing or sitting, place your hands behind your back and interlace your fingers if possible. If not, use your right hand to hold onto your left wrist. Raise your arms up behind you as high as you can, but don’t force it. Take five breaths here. Release your arms down by your side, palms facing inwards and begin to lift them, keeping the arms straight. Can you feel how light your arms are? Imagine you have two inflated balloons between your legs and hands. Stay here for as long as you like.
Something To Ponder
“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom”
– Victor Frankl
With the recent spell of good weather, the storms of winter 2017 into spring 2018 may now be but a distant memory; which is precisely the thread of my piece this month.
The “weather” of our minds and our emotions – just like the environmental conditions which surround us – have a few things in common.
Firstly, there is little we can do about the weather, only learn how to live with it. We can’t change it or we can’t deny it’s raining when it’s raining. We can, however, learn to be patient and remind ourselves that things will change. It will not be this dull, damp and dreary forever. The same is true for our emotions.
Secondly, the weather we are experiencing may not be the weather we were expecting or desiring, but it is the weather we have, so in the midst of a challenging time, we can choose to remind ourselves that we have had stormy days before which we navigated and we have also had sunny days before and we will have them again. This is also true for our emotional state.
Thirdly, we realise that we are not the rain, but we can feel and see the rain, and the rain will come and go throughout our lives. So we try to accept the rainy days as we do the sunny days. We remember that stormy, sunny, happy or sad are all, by their very nature, impermanent states, which are integral parts of this human experience and, as we know, anything which is impermanent shall pass.
RAIN exercise
R: Recognise the feeling that you are experiencing. Give the feeling a name if you can (it could even be to do with the weather – stormy, cloudy, bright, fine, overcast etc). Identifying the feeling can take its power away.A: Allow the experience to be there, just as it is. This can be tricky, so be gentle with yourself. Remember you don’t have to fix it or even know what to do with the feeling, just try to be with it, turn towards it. I: Investigate the feeling with kindness. How does it feel in the body? Where do you feel it most strongly? What types of thoughts accompany this emotion? Remember, you don’t need to know what to do with this emotion, so there’s no pressure on you to have to know what to do. N: Non-identification. Remember this emotion is not who you are, it’s a feeling you are experiencing and it will go away with time. You may be feeling angry but you are not anger. Sadness may be washing over you, but much like a rain shower, it will move along. It too will pass.When difficult feelings and emotions arise in us, we might need to go through the whole RAIN process to work through the feelings, or it might be enough to do one or two of the steps. The more practice you have working through each step, the more skilled you will become at understanding what you need to do to work through the difficulty.
Physical Exercise Of The month
Do something that helps us feel lighter, letting go… letting be. Standing or sitting, place your hands behind your back and interlace your fingers if possible. If not, use your right hand to hold onto your left wrist. Raise your arms up behind you as high as you can, but don’t force it. Take five breaths here. Release your arms down by your side, palms facing inwards and begin to lift them, keeping the arms straight. Can you feel how light your arms are? Imagine you have two inflated balloons between your legs and hands. Stay here for as long as you like.
Something To Ponder
“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom”
– Victor Frankl
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