I’m very worried about my sister-in-law. She recently dropped out of college because she could not keep up with the costs and was having a terrible time there. She lives about 20 minutes from me, with her boyfriend, but he works a lot and is rarely home.

She has recently become very distant and depressed and doesn’t want to talk to anyone. When I try to reach out to her, she says she is tired or busy and seems very low spirited. I’m pretty sure she has fallen out with her friends and rarely leaves the house anymore. I’m so worried about her and would appreciate your advice.

– Worried sister

Dear worried sister,

It can be very hard to witness a loved one going through a tough time, and it sounds very much like this is the case with your sister-in-law.

When people are struggling with their mental health it can often be too big a step to talk openly about their problems. She has had to contend with a lot if she has taken the decision to discontinue with her studies, and I’m sure this is taking time to process as she figures out her next move.

Maybe you could suggest spending time with your sister-in-law, doing something enjoyable like going to see a film or heading to the beach for a walk? She may feel more comfortable opening up if she doesn’t feel any pressure to do so.

It is however, concerning that you think she has fallen out with her friends, which would explain her low mood. Have you broached the subject with your husband, her brother? Maybe a check-in from him would yield some results in terms of getting her the support she needs.

I would also suggest speaking with her boyfriend, who is living with her and may be able to offer a better insight into her low mood.

If you are worried that she may harm herself, encourage her to speak to her doctor, who will be best placed to advise and treat mental health matters.

If she insists she does not need medical help then you could direct her towards the Samaritans who offer a 24/7 confidential phone support service by calling 116123. The charity also has a web chat service and an email address – jo@samaritans.ie – with further information available on its website samaritans.org.

The HSE also has a website dedicated to supporting people in crisis hse.ie/mental-health/ where you will find a range of services that may be of benefit to your sister-in-law. Supporting loved ones through stressful times can take its toll however, so be sure to mind your own mental health too.

Reader writes

Dear Miriam,

I am a regular reader of your advice page. Please let ‘Sleepy in Sligo’ from 8 March know that there is help for the torment that is a snoring partner.

A snoring ring which costs about €10-€15 is a solution my husband has been using for several years to prevent his snoring. Although he does need to sleep on his side to make sure he doesn’t wake me, it’s been a lifesaver.

– Valerie in Laois

Do you have a problem you would like to share? If so, write in confidence to: Dear Miriam, Agony Aunt, Irish Country Living, Irish Farmers Journal, Irish Farm Centre, Bluebell, Dublin 12, or email miriam@farmersjournal.ie