I am a sheep farmer in my late 40s and I’m at a point in my life where I am seriously thinking about giving up alcohol. It’s mainly for health reasons because I know it’s not good for me, and lately I’ve noticed a drop in my mood and energy levels the day after I’ve had something to drink.

There’s no doubt you generally feel much better without alcohol in your system. But like most men my age, pints at the pub have been a big part of nights out and socialising ever since I was young.

I’m not saying that my socialising revolves around alcohol – I can have a good time without it, but it’s fair to say that most times when I’m meeting up with the lads, there is some alcohol involved.

This is what has held me back from cutting out alcohol completely. I’m worried that I’ll be excluded from the group banter, that I’ll be pressurised into drinking, or that I’ll end up having to pay for other people’s booze in big rounds, when a soft drink costs much less than a whiskey and a mixer or pints.

I have a nephew’s wedding coming up and I have mixed feelings about it. Alcohol is everywhere at weddings and I feel like it’ll be hard to stay sober and also I don’t want to miss out.

Is there any good time to get sober? And do you have any advice for how to start when you’re the only one?

Dear reader,

First please know that you are not the only one. More and more people are reducing their alcoholic intake or cutting it out completely for personal, financial and health reasons.

Many pubs and bars now stock a range of non-alcoholic offerings, including zero alcohol beers, ciders and spirits, which makes it slightly easier to refuse alcohol and still allows you to feel that sense of occasion. That being said, it does takes courage and discipline to give up alcohol, especially when it is so tied to socialising with friends or family.

Your concerns are not uncommon, but wanting to feel better physically and emotionally is a strong reason to adopt new habits. You assume that you will feel left out or pressured into drinking, have your friends said anything to give you this indication? Try talking to them first, most likely they will respect and understand your decision.

Explain your reasons and ask for their support. Your friends should also accept your decision not to join the rounds.

You can look for social clubs or groups in your area or take up a hobby where you may meet other people who do not drink. You can also find online communities of people who are sober. Apps like Try Dry can help you to cut down your alcohol intake and stay accountable to your goals.

For your nephew’s wedding, you could offer to be the designated driver and if you feel like zero alcohol is too difficult, allow yourself to have one or two drinks in the evening. The truth is, there is no perfect time to get sober but having the right support around you makes it a lot easier.

Do you have a problem you would like to share? If so, write in confidence to: Dear Miriam, Agony Aunt, Irish Country Living, Irish Farmers Journal, Irish Farm Centre, Bluebell, Dublin 12, or email miriam@farmersjournal.ie