I’m going through a breakup at the moment and I’m really struggling to see how I will get through Christmas without my partner of five years.

It was a complete shock when he announced he didn’t want to be with me anymore and he moved out of our apartment earlier this month. I thought we were on the same track but he doesn’t feel the same and I’m slowly accepting that he isn’t coming back.

My problem at the minute though is a holiday I had booked for us for between Christmas and New Year, which I hadn’t told him about as I was planning it as a surprise. I’d been saving all year and had bought flights to New York and a hotel for three nights, and didn’t think to get travel insurance.

I’m very tempted to still go, but not sure wandering around New York on my own at this time of year would do a lot to cheer me up. I have a best friend that I could ask to come with me, if she would pay for the flight change.

She’s all loved up herself and I’m not sure she’ll leave her boyfriend to go away with me.

I don’t want her to do it out of pity, but I don’t want to lose thousands of euros with nothing to show for it.

I could ask my younger brother too, but he would need me to pay for his flight.

Who should I ask or should I even bother going?

– Heartbroken, Co Waterford

Dear reader,

I’m very sorry to hear of the end of your relationship, which is a hurtful, confusing time for you. The festive season doesn’t make it any easier, what with us all being told we need to be in a relationship to make the most of Christmas. But that’s all down to Hallmark and the clever marketing people, so take the mistletoe and magic with a pinch of salt, as best you can.

I’m sure you’re experiencing a range of emotions right now. Five years is a long time to be with someone and if you had no idea the relationship was coming to an end, you’re most likely still in a state of shock about it all. Take the time and space you need to feel what you are feeling.

For that reason, I think you should do all you can to go on this holiday. While it won’t be what you initially envisaged, I think those few days away in one of the most exciting cities in the world can only help. If you need alone time, go for it. If you need to party, go for it. You don’t owe an explanation to anyone. Focus on yourself. Focus on the moment. Ask yourself: “What do I really need right now?”

You say your friend is your best friend so she will be concerned for you right now with the pain you’re experiencing. You’re not asking for her to give up two weeks for you, and most people would jump at the chance to get to the Big Apple.

If she’s unable to go, for whatever reason, ask your brother to come along and if he can’t cover the cost himself, maybe you could loan him the money? It’s better than the whole trip going to waste.

Either way I really hope you get away and make some new memories as you embark on the next chapter of your life.

Remember that there will be much better Christmas times ahead, but for now, look after yourself as best you can.

Do you have a problem you would like to share? If so, write in confidence to: Dear Miriam, Agony Aunt, Irish Country Living, Irish Farmers Journal, Irish Farm Centre, Bluebell, Dublin 12 or email miriam@farmersjournal.ie